[Bill]

I'm really bummed out about "Turkey Bacon". I've been putting off trying it for years. It was supposed to be my "ace in the hole" when I wanted to kick my health level up a notch or two. I mean, it's common knowledge that bacon is the best thing ever made, so it's understandable that I had high hopes for this turkey bacon nonsense. My son Daniel said it was the greatest thing since sliced bread, so a few weeks ago, I figured I would try some. I was left to my own devices one Sunday afternoon and raced to the grocery store. I grabbed a pack of turkey bacon and threw it into my cart next to the V-8 juice, cranberry juice, walnuts, almonds, avocadoes, and bluebrries. I whipped through the checkout line and raced home and pulled out the 2 pounds of ground beef I had stashed in the fridge and worked it into 4 patties and began slicing a block of cheddar, picturing the awesome bacon cheddar cheeseburgers I was about to create. I grilled the burgers to near perfection as the turkey bacon simmered in a pan on a side burner. "mmm, that's funny, there's no fat or grease leaking out of this bacon. It's sticking to the pan" To make a long story short (I know--too late) I threw half a pound of that god-forsaken turkey bacon on the most awesomest fat cheeseburgers you ever saw and was horribly disappointed. That was 3 weeks ago and I'm still bummed out about it.