[chrisy]

Susan, of course you are shocked and scared right now - we have all been there. It sounds like your onc is wisely recommending treatment to match the aggressiveness of Her2+ disease. With treatment, the odds that you will beat this back for good without future recurrence are EXCELLENT. You want to be part of those stats.
Supporting you through chemo need not be a burden to your sister. It is not the nightmare scenario we have all heard about and feared as "worse than the disease". I had 6 rounds of chemo with the main side effect (besides the new haircut!) being mild fatigue over time. This may sound strange, but allowing your sister to be there and wrap you in her love can be a gift for both of you. My sister lives 2000 miles away and it was really painful for both of us that she couldn't be here. I'm distressed by your husband's reaction - how terrible that must have been for you.
Don't be afraid of the chemo. You can totally do it. Yes, there are can be side effects, but everyone is different and you may or may not suffer from those that concern you. Don't claim them until they happen - but if they do, know that they can be managed. Also, discussions around side effects are to share ideas on how to best deal with them. Most folks aren't questioning whether it was worth it or not - you're talking about saving your life, after all.
In the end, although you call it "doctors orders", the decision is yours. You will make the decision that is right for you. None of this is fair, but you are NOT alone.
Take care
Chris