[mekasan]

Dear DeeUK

What I hear from your post is that you are concerned your doctor will make you feel bad for wanting a mastectomy now, after having gone through radiation. I understand that you recognize that a mastectomy now seems to render the radiation unnecesary. However, you should feel no shame for going ahead with one procedure and then recognizing afterwards that it just wasn't enough.

Chalk up your need to discuss a mastectomy to a "change in circumstances". That change is a result of
1. more time to think about your needs and better identify them,
2. more time to read and learn
3. having the radiation experience and feeling it may not be enough.

Consider yourself a changed person from the one who decided to dismiss the mastectomy option. Now you are a person who wishes to consider it. If your doctor cannot understand that, and still makes you feel badly, then just know the doctor is wrong. You have every righ to pursue the treatment that makes you physically and psychologically sound again. If some radiation got wasted in the process WHO CARES!!!.

Finally, you may find that the mastectomy is unnecessary in your case. For example, I decided, at first, to have AC chemo then Herceptin, no Taxol (or whatever the T is in the AC-T combo). My doctor did his homework and determined this was best. I finished chemo and began Herceptin. Months later, and an inch or so of hair later, I went back and asked my doc if I needed the T(Taxol?). I was concerned because I learned that most women have AC-T and I only had AC. Now, I had the choice back in Aug. 05. I already was through chemo and I was asking to start up again in March 06. I learned that because I was node neg I did not need the T. Because of the discussion, I feel psychological sound. Prior to that talk, I felt so upset that I had made a bad choice.

My position: Decisions are complicated. Ours tend to be life-preserving. The only one who has to live with them is you (us).

Do everything you can to take care of yourself.

Sincerely
Shannon