[RhondaH]

how do the docs KNOW when enough is truly enough (look at all the women on the board that have been "brought" back, though the article did refer to patients NOT having had Herceptin), but then I think back to a discussion at my last Herceptin treatment 2 weeks ago with the Stage IV lady I get Herceptin with and our onc nurse. There was a young guy (early 30's) that was married w/ 2 young children (3 & 5 approx.) and he had advanced melanoma. He had been getting chemo for 2 years. Our onc nurse said that he had passed away the Tues prior. Apparently, the week before he was to come and get chemo (he had been getting worse) and didn't show up (his wife said he was ANGRY when they wouldn't let him get chemo as he was so bad). He refused hospice (for those of you who have never been in an end of life caring position, this is a HUGE stress on the person caring for the sick one (for those of you that have you have shoulders of steel) ESPECIALLY when you are caring for others, ie young ones, AND trying to keep food on the table) leaving his wife to care for him to the end (pain mgt, feeding, changing etc). His wife told our onc nurse that his death was painful and violent (rather than peaceful) to the end because he NEVER would accept his dying. I plan on fighting, but at what point do you accept the inevitable?