[cherylynnie]

Most of the time I come to this site and read the many things that are posted here and I shed tears. I thought I was done for the morning, but I just read what Tom wrote and again tears streamed down my cheeks and my nose started running, had to go dry my tears and blow my nose.

But after we have catered to them for so long, our families that is, sometimes they just don't know how to do it back, not for any length of time anyway. I was very lucky that my mom came right away and stayed for four months and packed lunches, made breakfast, did the laundry, cleaned the bathrooms, and ran the kids around and took care of me, etc. An amazing thing happened, other relatives came to help her, my sister, my aunt, another aunt and uncle, a cousin, my mother in law. Anyone that came once chemo started got a flu shot. I was truly blessed, but it was the love of my mother I think that brought those others out to help me. Now mind you her actions and words didn't always go together, her actions being better than her words. I am not close either, the shortest drive was 3 hours, which was my sister and mother-in-law everyone else came from another state. SO she had six weeks of help, I had an immediate tram flap reconstruction after mastectomy, so finally right before chemo I was actually able to walk almost upright. My mother left and went back home in January. So I got to go back to being mom again and trying to do everything ( this was all while taking the taxotere which I just finished the middle of March), and about after two months everyone (2 kids and husband), started to take me for granted. I had to let them know how I felt. My husbands seems to have gotten on track, but has to be reminded every now and again. But I think the kids just wish it would all go away. And as my hair comes back (very slowly), they will be able to look at me again for who I maybe once was, but never really will be again as cancer has changed me, I am not sure to what yet though.

But Sherry, you are definitely not alone.

And I know how you feel about the " anyone dying any day" thing. That is so insensitive, and people just don't realize it, no matter how true it may be. But when you stuggle with a disease, it is a more in your face kind of thing.

You hang in there! What's the song they play when they kick someone off American Idol, oh yeah, - Had a Bad Day -. But you will have better days!

My heart goes out to you.