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Old 05-21-2006, 11:32 AM   #10
Tami
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Carlsbad, CA
Posts: 73
I know how you feel! I remember that when I had my first chemo treatment on a Thursday and went to work the following Monday when I came home after working all day and feeling like crap, my husband and mom were just sitting on the patio. I had hoped that they would have jumped in and made dinner for everyone including my 3 boys. They both jumped in once I started slamming pots and pans around in the kitchen however. It wasn't that they were insensitive it's just that I had always done alot for everyone and I think on some level they felt that if I kept up that routine then we all would be OK. Finally I had to just lay it out there and say that I couldn't do this or that, you will need to do this or that and really had to FInd My Voice if we were all going to make through this. This is all about you right now and if they cannot see what you need then you need to tell them or distance yourself from them. I had to distance myself from one family member for months because he always made me crazy with the clueless things he said. At first I tried to explain to him what was going on, how I was feeling etc. He consistantly tried to make it about him and finally I just told him that I had enough shit going on right now and couldn't deal with his. We have since made up and have a much deeper relationship as a result of this. It is one of the silver linings in all this - I try to only do things and be with people that enhance my life and have let go of the many obligations that I really didn't want to do or ones that simply sucked the energy out of my life. Found My Voice and Enjoying it! Tami
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