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TriciaK · 03-20-2006, 08:34 PM

Dear, dear Carol, My heart goes out to you! I relate to the fear you feel, and yet your strong spirit shines through. The first thing I decided when I was diagnosed with BC 21 years ago was that I would never say "I am dying of cancer" or even "I have cancer." I would only say "I am FIGHTING cancer." And I refused to let anyone use the term "terminal". Life is eventually terminal for all of us who are alive! Just don't let anyone dwell on the thought of "terminal". And the first time I was told I only had so many months to live, I got mad! My feeling was " How dare you say that! I'll show you how wrong you are!" and I did! I have licked it 3 times, the last two times were stage IV, always er and pr positive. The last time in June of 2004 was her2. It was the worst of all, but because of herceptin, it is now a good thing to be her2. Now there are ways to fight that never existed before. I am now NED again (No Evidence of Disease). I agree with Lisa and those on this website who have said to ignore the predictions of those who say how long you have to live. Only God knows that! Your attitude and fighting spirit will have more to do with how long you have than anything the doctors can say. I sense a fighting spirit in your post, and you can make it work for you. I have said it before: "Faith and Fear cannot exist at the same time". Fear will destroy faith if you let it, just as faith can destroy the fear. Fear is actually False Evidence Affecting Reality. And don't let anyone talk about "false hope" or "being in denial". How can Hope ever be "false"? Hope is the opposite of Despair, and they cannot exist at the same time, either. And let's ALL be in denial of those dire predictions! Better to deny them than give them any credence. It's your life and your body and you know better than the doctors do. Keep a picture in your mind at all times of being there when your little ones graduate from school and when they get married. Picture yourself there! Positive mental imaging can work miracles. I am not just making that up: I have a doctorate in psychology and my husband is a licensed psychologist. We have seen first hand over and over the miracles that positive thinking and positive imaging can create. How I wish I could go to Scotland and give you a big hug in person! My maternal ancesters are of the highland McIntosh clan, and I know how strong and stubborn the Scots are. Make it work for you, lassie! Hugs, Tricia

03-20-2006, 08:34 PM	#3
TriciaK Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: St. George, UT Posts: 582	Dear, dear Carol, My heart goes out to you! I relate to the fear you feel, and yet your strong spirit shines through. The first thing I decided when I was diagnosed with BC 21 years ago was that I would never say "I am dying of cancer" or even "I have cancer." I would only say "I am FIGHTING cancer." And I refused to let anyone use the term "terminal". Life is eventually terminal for all of us who are alive! Just don't let anyone dwell on the thought of "terminal". And the first time I was told I only had so many months to live, I got mad! My feeling was " How dare you say that! I'll show you how wrong you are!" and I did! I have licked it 3 times, the last two times were stage IV, always er and pr positive. The last time in June of 2004 was her2. It was the worst of all, but because of herceptin, it is now a good thing to be her2. Now there are ways to fight that never existed before. I am now NED again (No Evidence of Disease). I agree with Lisa and those on this website who have said to ignore the predictions of those who say how long you have to live. Only God knows that! Your attitude and fighting spirit will have more to do with how long you have than anything the doctors can say. I sense a fighting spirit in your post, and you can make it work for you. I have said it before: "Faith and Fear cannot exist at the same time". Fear will destroy faith if you let it, just as faith can destroy the fear. Fear is actually False Evidence Affecting Reality. And don't let anyone talk about "false hope" or "being in denial". How can Hope ever be "false"? Hope is the opposite of Despair, and they cannot exist at the same time, either. And let's ALL be in denial of those dire predictions! Better to deny them than give them any credence. It's your life and your body and you know better than the doctors do. Keep a picture in your mind at all times of being there when your little ones graduate from school and when they get married. Picture yourself there! Positive mental imaging can work miracles. I am not just making that up: I have a doctorate in psychology and my husband is a licensed psychologist. We have seen first hand over and over the miracles that positive thinking and positive imaging can create. How I wish I could go to Scotland and give you a big hug in person! My maternal ancesters are of the highland McIntosh clan, and I know how strong and stubborn the Scots are. Make it work for you, lassie! Hugs, Tricia Last edited by TriciaK; 03-20-2006 at 08:36 PM..