Chelee, It may help your anxiety to do some self-hypnosis or guided imagry. It has really worked for me and I have been fighting BC for 20 years (NED again now!). To do it, focus on your breathing, breathe slowly and calmly, deeply if you can, but especially concentrate on breathing slowly and evenly. Concentrate on relaxing each muscle in your body, starting with your face and jaw. Visualize the chemo flowing through your body, engulfing and destroying cancer cells, healing your body with a warm white light flowing through every vessel, muscle, joint, and cell.You are doing the right thing to heal, you are overcoming and fighting the disorganized, un-natural cancer cells, and you will win over them. Make yourself a mantra and keep repeating it, like "I am healing". over and over, or "Everyday I am getting better and better."
Sometime ago I sent three "lessons" on self hypnosis and guided imagry to help us on this web. I have done it for years myself and also help others learn to do it as a professional counselor in psychology. If you wish perhaps you can find them on the site by typing in my name "TriciaK" or perhaps someone else can tell you how to find them. If you want to contact me diriectly for more on this free and simple method of fighting cancer, my email is
pairadox@cox.net. The deep breathing exercises will help immensely by themselves but the guided imagry will help even more, I promise, and it is something you can do yourself while undergoing chemo or just relaxing. THese positive exercises will take the place of the negative thoughts and fear that are now filling your mind and are so debilitating.
You have a wonderful support system here on this website, and the chat room discussions are wonderful, too. We have all been through it and are all here for you! Hugs, Tricia