unregistered

I go through this every few months. I have stable bone mets, have had lung mets which went away, pleural effusion which also went away, clear lung scans except for scarring. Yet I have not worked for 3 years now, a job I loved but involved heavy lifting. I have got 7 grown children but naturally they are in their own world and I wouln;t want them hovering around me anyway. My day revolves around housecleaning ( oh, I THANK God I can do it), laundry, dishes, listening to the radio---in other words it is a VERY low-stress life, to the point of almost being boring. But generally, I like "boring". I have got neuropathy of my hands and feet due to certain chemos in the past, so I am kind of lame. I should use a cane but I don't---I could get a "handicapped" sticker but I don't. I don't like being "sick". My point is that I suffer from periodic---angst, depression? I don't know what you call it. I am at loose ends, I feel lonely and I never talk of my deepest fears with anyone, not even my husband. They are so happy to see me on my feet and working around the house, you can just feel them breathing a collective sigh of relief. I am kind of crabby and distracted, like I don;t want anyone bursting my low-stress bubble, but it is little things, out of proportion, like a towel on the floor, it is really irrational. My question is this: short of taking anti-depressants, what are some statagies that I can have to make life better? I think I just need a friend who is going through this. Thanks! Susie