The children thing is a biggy for me. It is the one thing that really cuts at me and at times can be overwhelming. I do wonder how my children are processing it all as I'm sure you all do too. My son was 7 yrs and my daughter was a few months of starting school (4.8 yrs). My son has become more aware in his ninth year and quite sensitive to the word cancer.
I recently had reconstruction surgery which went well in its self but the aftermath has been quite something else, a realisation of how my body has changed. I have watched their scared little faces look into mine and it eats me that I have brought this stress to them. It hasn't all been bad and sad. BC has brought to our family a bond, an ease far beyond what we had before. Things that seemed so important fade with the things that really are important brightly shining forth to the forefront - family, together time, joy, good friends, and our faith in GOD. No-longer do we worry what others might think.
My husband amazes me daily with his personnal growth, confidence and strength. My children to have grown and become more self-suffient which isn't a bad thing either. They are so much more capable of making decisions for themselves and their personnal needs.
Throughout this all it has been our children that have made this all the easier to cope. Its their little takes on how the world is, its the snuggling up on the couch together, its the holding my hand in public as people stare because I have no hair or accessories hanging out of me (drains). Its the big loud voice and the pointed finger at the person whoses starring "they are starring at you mummy!"
I feel lucky that I have the support of a husband and family to help me with this load. My heart goes out to all single parents and families that are far from each other. I am blessed to have two sets of grandparents within 20 minutes of us who are able to drop everything and look after the children when the need arises.
Every blessing to you all,
Daile
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