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Responding to Sandy H's post from the original discussion string...
I agree that those of us who end up experiencing the physiologic results from the loss of estrogen and drying effects need to be open-minded about any suggestions. However...
We seem to be affected somewhat differently by how close we are at the time of chemopause to being menopausal. For some who are reading this and who are quite young and not naturally close to menopause to begin with, their experience may end up being much milder, as they may not lose as much libido or go permanently dry.
From my perspective as a 53-year-old, I can mechanically get through this with the help of unnatural lubrication for my partner's sake, because I do love the dodo. But facing the loss to ME on a daily basis is pretty crushing and toxic.
I am 2 years out from treatment. I do not feel quite as "beat up" now from treatment as I was in the first year and a half after treatment. I have lost a lot of the weight I gained from the steroids that are part of treatment. I have my hair back and I like how it looks. All of that makes a difference in how I should feel in terms of attractiveness. But there has been no return of any joy of feeling desirable as a woman. I never expected to feel this way when I went into treatment.
And all of this is even more painful just because the medical people I trusted enough to go through treatment have treated it as if it does not exist. Having them recommend lubricants and then usher me out the door when I try to bring up the subject is cruel. Not once has anyone even suggested counseling, or provided any written materials on the subject.
I do not want to offend anyone, especially not anyone offering hopeful suggestions. I appreciate any suggestions for dealing with this problem. I just want to explain more fully why being adequately lubricated is a life sentence in itself.
AlaskaAngel
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