My tumor board decided that I have a few months to live last week. They also ignored my disease progression even as I pointed out that I wanted to do more. I don't trust tumor boards much any more. Mine was sending me to palliative care. I fired them and got a new team.
What do you want? Don't approach this with fear. With HER2 how soon will they start treating the mutation? Are you going to wait 6 or 8 weeks with HER2 disease spreading through your body? It's a greater risk to wait on chemo than to wait on surgery. Debulking the disease is nice but it is merely about staging you and that is of zero therapeutic value to you if chemo can get rid of it. Do what is best for your body and not what is most comfortable for your surgeon. Ask again why they believe that cutting into active tumor and delaying chemo will result in a better outcome and ask them to show you the studies that back them up.
I posted this a few works ago on the breastcancer.org site, maybe it will help you
20 Questions for Your Oncologist, and word from the wise
https://community.breastcancer.org/f.../topics/838726
I don't mean to challenge you but rather to challenge to care you are being offered. I'm sorry your body has disease, that you are here. I hope treatment gets you NED and you are able to put this behind you in time.