[sarah]

Hello Spitfire,
I think both Jessica and Debbie have offered excellent advice. I think the idea of a new ID and checking for recommendations in the surrounding area of where you live is also a good idea.
I've changed radiologists and primary doctors. That's your right also.
You definitely need to find a "cancer buddy" - someone you can talk to on the phone. I assume you live in the USA so you're on a very different time zone to me or I'd say we could chat by phone. I know having someone I could talk to in those dark days helped me and is why I am part of a support group here where I live in order to try to help others who need it.
Have you tried reaching the American Cancer Society? Your local library may be able to help you research what you need to find regarding a new doctor. It can just be a "second opinion" until and unless you find the right one.
The good news is that your oncologist has done the right thing regarding your cancer and right now, you are ok.
Also know that you can always PM (private message) anyone on this board. Many people put where they live so you might notice someone who lives in your state.
Can you explain what bothers you about him? You've said he doesn't want you to look at the internet or join a support group - that first one is quite common with doctors, the second is unusual. Our group started with the blessing and support (space) of the cancer hospital.
Are there some questions you have that he hasn't answered? If so, what are they? Maybe someone here can answer them.
Can your husband speak for you? Could he say to the good doctor that he (your husband) is not pleased with the manner in which the oncologist is treating you and that he (your husband) would like you to consider seeing another doctor???
the nurses at this hospital should have some advice about another doctor, they know doctors well and know who's good and who's compassionate, etc.
You mustn't let this make you crazy. Get some sleep even if you have to take something to sleep for a while. Rest is important. Also exercise is important to cancer patients and it may help you mentally as well.
hugs
sarah