[Cat]

Ok here's my venting (feeling sorry for myself) so I can get past it and realize it's all temporary.
This past month...
I took my sister to ortho because she needs a knee replacement.
I've held her hand and tried to reassure her it would go by quicker than she thinks. She works full time and I love her dearly but I began to resent her because I had just had my kidney ablation and we are struggling for insurance approval for new chemo. I developed a hernia that I need to see surgeon for.
I take my parents to Dr. appts because my sister is working and making money. (Oops is that sarcastic?). I took them for normal check ups and podiatry and then spent the rest of the week dealing with my mom who developed shingles and a few days later, my dad who seems to have had a TIA and/or dehydration. It's not that she did nothing and she has been understanding of my situation. We have been juggling home health nursing for mom and shingles and palliative care for dad as dr ordered. We also have caregiver in on Fridays for laundry and showers for dad. But this just sucks because she is now on a vacation for a week. She has worked hard with me to get everything in place but it just sucks. My life is in constant limbo so I'm probably one of the few who would love to be working.
Then I have my kids who run hot and cold. Right now my 25 yr old son lives at home but is working full time and can't afford to move out. He seems to have a chip on his shoulder and reacts to most things I say poorly. My daughter has turned to a pleasant place but has resumed a relationship with a guy we don't like and has not always treated her well. Theirs is a life on a roller coaster. She's 21 and working full time but going to school (unless she changes her mind). She doesn't make a whole lot either.
So I feel I'm back in the dunk tank and can't get to the seat before another ball is thrown and I'm back in the water! On top of it I now have a cold!!! And I probably got it from onc office when chemo was held and I'm still waiting for treatment.
I also realize that family and friends are tired of hearing about me and my treatments but I don't think I make a big deal of things. I've always been strong and try to be honest without making a big deal or having self pity.
I know that this will all pass and we will all go on hopefully in time for me to be able to help support my sister in her surgery. I'm a physical therapist assistant so I have some decent input for her.
My husband has been an angel and listens and helps out where he can.
Don't get me wrong. I love my family dearly and they love me. It's a moment in time and thank you for letting me vent. It feels good to let it out and makes me realize what minor problems I have compared to some people so I will move on with my day and back to laundry.
PS. I have pulled the cancer card a couple of times in public too. And the first time around my daughter, almost 13 at the time, requested I wear a wig and wanted no part in thinking about my baldness.
Wishing you all love and hugs, and many, many thanks,
Cathy