[Debbie L.]

Julie, what you're describing is SO normal. It's no fun, no matter what, to be in this phase of post-treatment doldrums -- but I've always thought that it would be a lot easier on us if we were warned ahead of time to be aware that it might happen.

You name all the contributing factors. For one, our public (usually including loved ones and definitely including acquaintances and workmates) so want us to be back to "normal". With the best of intentions, they encourage celebration and normalness, without any understanding of what's going on for us.

And there's so much going on. Most women, in order to get thru the rigors of treatment, put a lot of the emotional stuff on the back burner during that time. There's just so much to deal with during treatment that for most it becomes a day-by-day challenge (physical issues, next appointments, treatment choices, etc). So when treatment suddenly ends, most are left facing many of the deeper fears that come with a cancer diagnosis. It's as if those things see their opportunity (not much else is happening, finally) and they emerge demanding to be addressed.

Add to that the fact that it takes a LONG time to recover, physically, from breast cancer treatment. I've heard it said that one should allow twice the time of treatment, for our bodies to recover. And, as others have said, that "full" recovery will be to a new normal and (alas) probably not the same as it was before cancer.

Each person finds different ways to get thru this time. You WILL find what works for you. It will go most smoothly if you can be patient and gentle with yourself, and with those around you, too.

I think that when sitting down with a navigator or oncologist way back in the beginning, and again thruout treatment and certainly toward the end -- there should be discussion of this phenomenon that is SO common. In the course of our cancer education, we hear about other aspects of treatment -- side effects and how to manage them, cautions about lymphedema, etc. But rarely do our providers educate us about what to expect as treatment ends. It seems to me that knowing that these doldrums do happen to most women would make such a difference -- because we wouldn't be wondering what was wrong with us, and using our emotional energy trying to live up to the celebration going on around us.

Good luck to you. I hope that your starting this discussion will be of help to you, and to others who are nearing the end of treatment.

Debbie Laxague