[Becky]

I broke up with my first oncologist. Not everyone knows (or remembers) my story but when I was diagnosed, Herceptin was not yet available unless you were Stage 4. I did dense dose AC followed by taxol. Then radiation. A few weeks after radiation was done, Herceptin did become available and the top oncologists recommended any woman who was 6 months or less from their last chemo to go and get it. I was 3 months out and ironically, had my first post treatment appointment with my oncologist the day after the announcement of Herceptin's availability. We talked and he said I was wrong and it was 6 months from diagnosis. I too was not that assertive even though I sought out other opinions initially and was very informed because of my own research and this board. I paid to see the ASCO webcast the day before LIVE so I knew I was right and told him so. He said my insurance probably won't pay for it (they did) but I said I didn't care. So.... he tells me, I am going to take your blood and monitor your tumor markers - I am going to watch over you (I already knew that everyone gets the CA27/29 everytime you go but this would be my first one). He said he would see me every 3 months. Off he goes! So, I called my initial second opinion medical onc at Sloan Kettering and she gets right back. Yes, she remembers me and yes, Sloan is giving the Herceptin but you must meet the criteria of less than 6 months post your last chemo (weeks later this was changed to 2 years). Since I didn't have my chemo there, she would need me to bring in my medical records. I made an immediate appointment. I called the current onc office and asked for a copy of my records asap. The next day, when I was picking my records up, my onc saw me (and I had just been there the day before) so he asked if I was okay. I said, I am now. Sloan is giving the Herceptin and I need these records to prove that I am 6 months or less from my last chemo.

You know what he said to me? He said, "Becky, all you had to do is ask me to give you the Herceptin." I almost wanted to hit him. I told him I was very clear yesterday. So he says, think about it but he wanted me to get a base line ECHO and gave me a script and made me make an appointment. I did go to Sloan and scheduled Herceptin there about a week after I was supposed to see him but he gave me the Herceptin (so I cancelled at Sloan because it was a far way to go for Herceptin). But here's the catch on when and why I changed oncologists. Remember the tumor marker test and how he was going to watch over me? Well, about 3 weeks go by (3 weeks of weekly Herceptins) and I have an appt before the treatment. And it occurs to me about the tumor marker so I ask, what was my tumor marker reading (I get copies now) and he looks and looks in my chart and goes out of the room and back in and says that it was not run. The nurses will take blood before Herceptin and it will get run. Well, I just lost it with him. I reminded him of the appt and how he was going to watch over me and the tumor marker and no Herceptin and then, the marker wasn't even run? And he says, well Becky, I have alot of patients. Oh man. Can't tell you how I felt - except, you have one less patient now. I switched to his young, new partner who I had heard fantastic things about (and he is fantastic and fantastic to this day).

It was uncomfortable breaking up since I was going to the same medical practice and saw him in the hallways(and saw him alot since I had just started my year of Herceptin) but I never have and never will regret it. My current onc makes me feel like I am his only patient and he is like us (totally up to date on everything and he knows I am and asks ME questions). When I see something cool research wise, I send it to him.

So break ups happen and it changed my life. I also changed gynecologists and family doctor (many times on this until I found the right one). People tend to go to a doctor because it is their doctor - even if they don't like them or can't communicate with them. I say they are employees who you hire to keep you well or to save your life. It's just gotta work - period. You don't stay with a maid who doesn't clean your house the way you want or go to a store whose employees ignore you. Doctors are the same. Someone I have hired to potentially save my life - this is the most important employee.

If a discussion with your doctor does not have the outcome you want and you don't feel comfortable, hire a new one. I did and so do many others.