HER2 Support Group Forums - View Single Post - Just need to vent

'lizbeth · 08-07-2013, 10:34 AM

I love the advice everyone has given. I personally have a hard time being assertive, but being a cancer patient started changing that.

I like the idea of a 2nd opinion. This doctor is not working for you, and you are paying him! the problem is "He's just not that into you." Break up, find Dr. Right

My husband gave me a book by CNN Senior Medical Correspondent Elizabeth Cohen titled "The Empowered Patient"

Here is her advice on finding Dr. Right:

1) Take the doctor on a test drive.
Interview prospective doctors to see if you like the doctor and the staff. Some doctors won't do a "meet and great", so instead go in with a small problem and see how she handles it.

2) Keep your eyes open during the visit.
Is the office full of frustrated patients who have waited for hours? Is the staff attentive? Does the doctor rush you through the visit? Does she interrupt you halfway through your sentences? Are there pharmaceutical reps getting in to see her before you?

3.) Ask how your doctor handles illnesses that occur after hours.
We don't get sick on schedule. What's the plan if you need your doctor on a Saturday, or at midnight? Is she or one of her partners on call? Or will she refer you to an emergency room? While you're checking this out, ask whether during normal office hours you'll be seen by your doctor or one of her partners.

4) Google your doctor.
You can check the medical board for your state to see the status of lawsuits or disciplinary actions. I've personally seen this for a local plastic surgeon (not mine, another.)

5) Do a gut check: Do you like this doctor? Do you think she likes you?
Whether it's a doctor, a date, or a co-worker, we all have pretty good inner barometers for whether we like them or they like us. Listen to that voice. Don't see someone if you don't feel comfortable with her, or if you suspect she isn't comfortable with you. You could be depending on this person through some pretty tough times, and you want to enjoy a good relationship.

Or you can give your oncologist a second chance, but you need to set a strong boundary. He's got to show you a significantly more respect.

08-07-2013, 10:34 AM	#12
'lizbeth Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: Sunny San Diego Posts: 2,214	Re: Just need to vent - scared I love the advice everyone has given. I personally have a hard time being assertive, but being a cancer patient started changing that. I like the idea of a 2nd opinion. This doctor is not working for you, and you are paying him! the problem is "He's just not that into you." Break up, find Dr. Right My husband gave me a book by CNN Senior Medical Correspondent Elizabeth Cohen titled "The Empowered Patient" Here is her advice on finding Dr. Right: 1) Take the doctor on a test drive. Interview prospective doctors to see if you like the doctor and the staff. Some doctors won't do a "meet and great", so instead go in with a small problem and see how she handles it. 2) Keep your eyes open during the visit. Is the office full of frustrated patients who have waited for hours? Is the staff attentive? Does the doctor rush you through the visit? Does she interrupt you halfway through your sentences? Are there pharmaceutical reps getting in to see her before you? 3.) Ask how your doctor handles illnesses that occur after hours. We don't get sick on schedule. What's the plan if you need your doctor on a Saturday, or at midnight? Is she or one of her partners on call? Or will she refer you to an emergency room? While you're checking this out, ask whether during normal office hours you'll be seen by your doctor or one of her partners. 4) Google your doctor. You can check the medical board for your state to see the status of lawsuits or disciplinary actions. I've personally seen this for a local plastic surgeon (not mine, another.) 5) Do a gut check: Do you like this doctor? Do you think she likes you? Whether it's a doctor, a date, or a co-worker, we all have pretty good inner barometers for whether we like them or they like us. Listen to that voice. Don't see someone if you don't feel comfortable with her, or if you suspect she isn't comfortable with you. You could be depending on this person through some pretty tough times, and you want to enjoy a good relationship. Or you can give your oncologist a second chance, but you need to set a strong boundary. He's got to show you a significantly more respect.