[Andrea Barnett Budin]

SO -- HERE'S THE DEAL. Saw surgeon last Thurs. He conferred Tues. A.M. w/ not 1 but 2 additional radiologists all about me, my history (he studied under my breast surgeon who did my surgery in '95) -- he/they know everything about me! Inside and out. From wayyy back...

I'm going for surgery next Thursday, June 27 -- scheduled for 1:30.

Going to -- Boca Raton Regional Hospital. They've called me. Fri. at 5 o'clock. How convenient. Going in Monday to sign away and see nurse Sue and get more Instructions.

Internist's office called Fri at 5 o'clock to tell me I needed chest xray. But I had a chest CT scan last Thurs. Oh. Have to call you back. Monday. Oh, and -- you need more blood tests. Have to do that Monday.

Surgeon's office finally set the wheels in motion. I called onc's office, no answer -- it is 5 o'clock Friday -- cause my STABLE chest report was never FAXed to me, or anyone, and is now needed as proof. I only have the FAXed report of abdomen and pelvis. Geez. Oh, and now I'm thinking -- do I have to fast for these other tests?

No one is coordinating all this BUT ME. I said to the nurse, You know it's a good thing I'm healthy, cause a sick person just couldn't deal with all this thrown in their face at 5 o'clock on a Friday. Thanks for the info.

I did have the presence of mind to ask the surgeon's nurse if she knew what time I was scheduled on Thurs, June 27. She had told me "12 / 1:30... Well as of Fri at 5 o'clock -- it's 1:30. Which means I will do liquid diet alllll day Wednesday and nothing after midnight and be very grumpy/hungry with NO WATER allowed, waiting till 1:30, which could easily become many hrs later, w/unexpected delays that inevitably occur in hospitals.

My 45 minute surgery for example, could develop into much longer surgery.

Already have instructions from surgeon, but -- there's more to come, from hospital. Surgeon needed my blood work (from last Tuesday). I had it -- with me -- but NO -- very strict rules -- hospital says must come from internist, who I saw Wednesday (cause I fortuitously had my annual scheduled for that day for the last 2 mnths. He did another EKG for me cause we both knew hospital would want that/not be satisfied with Feb EKG and Feb ECHO...


I am feeling cheery, certain all will be fine. I will have preliminary pathology report -- on the table. If it shows something not good -- they will do what they must.

The 2 radiologists (who apparently concurred with 1st's report) and surgeon determined that he will make 4 punctures (laparoscopic surgery) into my abdomen to look at mesentery (an overcoat for the abdomen)-- large area, which could be very bloody he warned me (as that's where blood vessels go in and/or out). If that occurs,which sounds almost unavoidable, they will have to make an incision. Obviously, bleeding out would not be a good thing. In the soap operas they always panic when SHE'S BLEEDING INTERNALLY... I base much of my medical knowledge on experience and movies and TV...

They are booking me for a 23 hour hospital stay. Easier to cancel overnight stay than suddenly schedule, ensures I will have a room, and not have to tarry in the recovery room, which is no place you ever want to be -- noisy, crazy, moaning, so not where you want to be... Also all this satisfies insurance... Geez, we can't forget about them!

Antibiotics to take 3 x day before. Plus Milk of Magnesia. THAT IS MY HORROR -- my IBS stomach has issues w/magnesium. So I plan to spend Wednesday at home with my chicken broth, tea, jello and popsicles. (I know -- not red, my fav...)

Still, I will do what I have to. Hope I can leave bathroom to go to hospital! Seriously.

I'm doing what I have to, given my medical history and the fact that something new is visualized and/or larger than 1 yr ago. (Funny, not a single report -- since '98 has even mentioned the existence of a mass in my mesentery, but the docs all checked my previous reports and scans and compared and say -- it is definitely larger and maybe infiltrating...)

Surgeon says NOT lymph nodes. NOT IBS related. It's apparently NOT a whole lot of things... All docs say, VERY STRANGE. Never seen anything like it. Oh my!

So, With an abundance of caution and in the interest of doing the responsible thing, I need to do this. Let them see what's going on.

I am expecting this "simple" procedure to show that there's nothing malignant or malevolent going oninside me. I DO NOT BELIEVE SUCH IS SO. They will take some tissue for pathologist to study and get back with a complete report, but will do the preliminary while I'm on the table, then act accordingly.

Surgeon did say this could be a serious surgery but should be over in 45 minutes. Shrugged his shoulders, locked eyes. From his mouth...

He is very happy with my attitude. Says that is 90% of the battle. WE KNOW THAT, RIGHT LADIES??!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm moving forward, onward and upward. One with the Universe. Remember, my Spirit will accompany into the operating room, of course.

Busily reassuring my darling husband who is obviously very shaken and worried. MY Inner Voice is telling me to relax. I trust it implicitly. It is my Spirit speaking to me. With eons of wisdom and full of Love. I rely on it to guide and protect me. I talk to it.

Thursday (day of 2nd meeting with surgeon who wasn't interested on Monday in doing anything) was alarming. I'd expected all this on Monday, then took a U turn cause of his comments that he saw no reason to operate on me. So it was jolting. Paul and I went out to dinner, early bird special before his 7 o'clock card game -- neither one of us could eat! We took home. My thoughts were very scattered and bouncing around in my head. I was speechless. Can you even begin to imagine such a thing?!

Friday I met my 2 daughters with Paul and my 16 yr old granddaughter for brunch. Then afterwards Paul did errands, Ali and Pami went for a mani/ped and Josie and I went to my house and we just gabbed. THIS NEVER HAPPENS! We are always surrounded by the commotion of family (6 adults, 5 kids). This was a gift! I am still cherishing it.

Went to dinner w/friends from Dix Hills (Long Island) who we've known since '69. Why cancel? I am feeling fine. Full of smiles and laughter. Going tonight to meet friends for really nice Italian dinner. We have a coupon. Dogs will be groomed on Sunday (cause I had to cancel Thursday). Monday is full of maybe chest xray, more blood work, going to hospital to see Nurse Sue and signing and getting list of Instructions. Tuesday I will have my white roots colored to match my dark brown hair ))... Wednesday I plan to hang out near my bathroom with a good book.

Thursday I will no doubt have to stay over. Hopefully can come home Friday. Maybe. (I'm bringing my supplements and a few panties, glasses and case -- the essentials.)

So I'll get back to you when I can. Pinkie -- that's 1:30 EST (Fla, USA) on Thursday June 27. Please send your positive vibes as promised. Set your alarm...

HAS ANYONE EVER HEARD OF ANYTHING LIKE THIS??? In all my years, it is just so bizarre and befuddling...

Sending my Love to you all, and thanking each of you for your support -- and beautiful energy!

Andi