[Andrea Barnett Budin]

The Power of Self-Talk
To make your inner voice a force for success and happiness, says a noted psychologist, substitute accurate, positive thoughts for those false messages of fear.

By Harriet B. Braiker

They say there’s nothing wrong with talking to yourself, but when you start answering back, it’s time to worry. They’re wrong. Talking aloud to yourself in public isn’t a sign of mental health, but holding an internal dialogue is quite normal and very useful.
In fact, inner conversations have a powerful impact on emotional well-being and motivation. Becoming aware of exactly what you are saying to yourself about yourself can help you understand why you react the way you do to events and people in your life. It can also give you a handle on controlling your moods, repeating your successes and short-circuiting your shortcomings.


We must learn to troll our thoughts. It is difficult, as most things are when first tried. But, as you also know, practice improves your abilities. Look for phrases that begin, I KNOW that..., I'm just afraid that..., But what if... and other negative commentary. Then, course correct. Replace negativity with positive statements. Use words that give you strength, courage and determination. Use words and images that encourage positive outcomes.

Positive self-talk can do a lot to give you the confidence that frees you to use your talents to the fullest. If public speaking makes you nervous, use your inner voice to reassure yourself: “You can do it. You’ve done it well before. Why else would they have asked you to do it again?” Behind your nervousness may well be negative thoughts such as: “There are 300 people out there! I could make a fool of myself. Freeze up. Lose my place...”

Self-talk has a way of becominging a self-fulfilling prophecy! Uncountered negative thinking can spell trouble. That’s why it’s so important to monitor your Inner Voice.

But don’t confuse positive self-talk with mindless positive thinking, happy affirmations or, even worse, self-delusion. For example, if I were to tell myself that I’m no good at artistic endeavors, my self-talk would be negative but not flawed. The truth is, I have difficulty drawing a straight line. On the other hand, if I say I can’t do anything right, that would be flawed, overgeneralized thinking.

Or, for a cancer patient who is feeling the harsh effects of chemotherapy, radiation, WBR, the consequences of necrosis and cells dying -- you could start thinking, I feel like I'm dying. I have no strength. I sleep more than 12 hrs a day. I can hardly stand, I'm so weak. Whereas, what I did when experiencing those horrid mnths, was to remind myself that -- if I feel this crappy, just think how my cancer cells are feeling. I am in a process. In the end, I will prevail. DELAY IS NOT DENIAL. My desired outcome will come to be. I will keep the faith. I BELIEVED. I "KNEW" THAT I WOULD SURVIVE. I WILLED MY BODY TO SURVIVE, as I've heard other Survivors of every kind, report. (I've been listening to what Survivors, Olympic Champions, Winners of every kind say since I was a young child.)

As I've mentioned in one of the threads, I had a difficult childhood. I would later learn as an adult from a therapist that I was suffering from post traumatic syndrome. And that made sense. My feelings, my reactions were the same as those who'd survived wars. So, my point is that I've always been riveted by any tale of how and why a person survived. That was my goal in childhood. And it became my goal when I was dx (in '95). I responded with the same strength and determination I had while growing up. I didn't yet realize it (that would come after my recurrence in '98) -- I drew courage and strength and passionate tenacity from the words of my Inner Voice. After I metastacized, and began reading self help books and then books about the mind-body connection, which I'd been fascinated in since the early 1970s, I moved on to books about spirituality.

HERE IS SOME OF WHAT I'VE LEARNED IN THE LAST FEW DECADES. IT'S PRETTY AWESOME...

My Inner Voice is my Spirit. Some say Soul. It is an entity that I now align myself with. I am a Spirit, or Soul, with a mind and a body. Your Spirit possesses eons of wisdom. It loves you more than you love yourself. It nurtures and sustains you especially in your darkest moments. It guides and protects you. It shares insights and warns you when you are headed in the wrong direction. It emboldens you when you feel a bit afraid to take a leap of faith, but something profoundly strong, deep within you, at your core, is urging on anyway! Your Spirit will never fail you. Never criticize you.

You are never alone. Never.

So, please connect with your True Identity. It is your most precious possession. It is your Truest Self. And when you are in sync, you feeling harmonious. Joyful. And serene. Able to leap tall bldgs in a single bound! EMPOWERED!

With Love and Light being beamed directly at YOU...