[Debbie L.]

Good question, checkmark! In a very general way, I think that vague rule of anything that bothers you for 2 weeks, especially if it's getting worse not better, is not a bad rule. That doesn't mean that it's a cancer symptom, just that it should be checked out to be sure it's not. I'd bet most all of us on this list have had something checked out, especially in those first years, that turned out not to be cancer.

And of course anything really bad, that you'd go to the doctor for anyway, especially pain. Things that come and go, and have always come and gone, are probably just things that come and go. In that category, I'd say the worrisome things are new things -- changes to your new normal. But of course, you don't even KNOW for sure what your new normal is, so these first years will be troublesome. I wish we could fix it all for you (and all of us) so nothing was troublesome, but so far, it just doesn't work that way. Everyone learns different things that help them to manage the anxiety of all this. Some just keep putting one foot in front of the other and find that over time, it all settles down. Other do spiritual work, or physical exercise, or find opportunities to give back -- and find that helps calm them.

I did various things that helped me but I think the best thing was simply to remind myself that my fears could be there and I could still live with appreciation for life. I told myself that yes, it was possible my life would be shorter than I'd previously thought -- that I could die of breast cancer. So, I'd say to myself: "if I have less time than I want in this life, do I want to waste even one moment of it fretting about that, or do I want to live each moment to its fullest?". The answer was usually that I didn't want to waste a moment to anxiety. It's not like I could control the outcome by fretting about it. Sometimes (12 years later) I actually kind of miss that sense of urgency to grab my (perhaps limited) moments.

Here are a few sites that seem reasonable, in their listings of symptoms to report to your doctor.

http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/rec...CTION=symptoms

http://www.webmd.com/breast-cancer/t...rrent-symptoms

As that last site notes, if you think about the places breast cancer is most likely to recur to (bone, lung, liver, brain), you can figure out what MIGHT be concerning. It's not like it's crystal clear, and it's not crucial that you run in immediately in most cases. Local things like new lumps, of course. Bone mets would usually cause bone pain. Lung mets would interfere with breathing, making you short of breath and/or causing a cough. Liver mets could affect appetite and digestion, cause pain, or make your urine look dark or your skin yellow (jaundice). Brain mets could cause a headache or any kind of neurological symptom like numbness, dizziness or balance issues, trouble speaking, seizures, etc.

Feeling "off" is probably not a symptom. It's probably your body still recovering from treatment itself.

Be gentle with yourself. We've all wondered exactly what you're wondering, and been sure every symptom was a recurrence. For some, it was a recurrence. For most, it was not. No one can tell you what lies ahead for you, from a cancer standpoint. You will find the way to move forward in your life, putting the uncertainty into its niche and living reasonably comfortably with that uncertainty. But it takes time, and probably some exploration and work -- to find the best way to make that work, for YOU. Talking it out, as you're doing on this list, can help. You will get there, but in fits and starts, not in one giant "it's all over" leap (alas).

Debbie Laxague