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bejuce · 01-18-2013, 01:34 PM

Thank you so much for your quick response. I did speak to my father this morning who told me that the colonoscopy was fine. My mom and sister basically asked the doctor not to tell him. The doctor did not tell my father the truth. This bothers me tremendously, as I want to trust doctors to always be truthful to the patient. Even if my dad is alone with the doctor, the doctor is lying to his face.

BTW, my mom told me today that my grandpa (her dad) died without even knowing he had cancer. He died of stomach cancer without any idea of what he had. I'm sure there is a cultural issue here, as in Brazil, sadly as it is, hearing the word cancer makes most people shriek in terror. In fact, I grew up hearing my mom say that "everything in the world has a solution, except for that disease". Argh!!!!!!!!!!!

I will avoid from now on making any treatment suggestions to my mom and sister and will instead talk directly to my dad. I'll ask him point blank if he wants to know the truth and what his prognosis is. I want the whole family to let him have time to say goodbye and to pass his values and thoughts to us one last time before avoiding the issue completely.

Thanks for your support,

Marcia

01-18-2013, 01:34 PM	#4
bejuce Senior Member Join Date: May 2009 Posts: 510	Re: When to tell the patient the truth Thank you so much for your quick response. I did speak to my father this morning who told me that the colonoscopy was fine. My mom and sister basically asked the doctor not to tell him. The doctor did not tell my father the truth. This bothers me tremendously, as I want to trust doctors to always be truthful to the patient. Even if my dad is alone with the doctor, the doctor is lying to his face. BTW, my mom told me today that my grandpa (her dad) died without even knowing he had cancer. He died of stomach cancer without any idea of what he had. I'm sure there is a cultural issue here, as in Brazil, sadly as it is, hearing the word cancer makes most people shriek in terror. In fact, I grew up hearing my mom say that "everything in the world has a solution, except for that disease". Argh!!!!!!!!!!! I will avoid from now on making any treatment suggestions to my mom and sister and will instead talk directly to my dad. I'll ask him point blank if he wants to know the truth and what his prognosis is. I want the whole family to let him have time to say goodbye and to pass his values and thoughts to us one last time before avoiding the issue completely. Thanks for your support, Marcia __________________ ER+ (30%)/PR-/HER-2+, stage 3 Diagnosed on 02/18/09 at 38 with a huge 12x10 cm tumor, after a 6 month delay. Told I was too young and had no risk factors. Found swollen node during breastfeeding. March-August 09: neo-adjuvant chemo, part of a trial at Stanford (4 DD A/C, 4 Taxotere with daily Tykerb), loading dose of Herceptin 08/12/09 - bye bye boobies (bilateral mastectomy) 08/24/09 - path report shows 100 % success in breast tissue (no cancer there, yay!), 98 % success in lymphatic invasion, and even though 11/13 nodes were still positive, > 95 % of the tumor in them was killed. Hoping for the best! September-October 09: rads with daily Xeloda 02/25/10 - Cholecystectomy 05/27/10 - Bone scan clear 06/14/10 - CT scan clear, ovarian cyst found 07/27/10 - Done with Herceptin! 02/15/11 - MVA-BN HER-2 vaccine trial 03/15/11 - First CA 15-3: 12.7 and normal, yay! 10/01/11 - Bone scan and CT scan clear, fatty liver found now on Tamoxifen and Aspirin