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Mandamoo · 10-14-2012, 02:59 PM

Oh Jen - I am so sorry you are going through this - it truly breaks my heat and I don't know if I can offer any wise words.

At times when I think "why me?" I now counter with "why not me?" there is no rhyme nor reason.

I'd like to say something about your Mum's strength through - wow, I wish to be so strong, to live with stage 4 disease for as long as she has, I understand how tired she must be, she has been going at this for such a long time. Only last week, I wondered if I could go on but I have three young children, one yet to start school and realised I just have to. To keep believing in miracles, to live now and not wonder about the what ifs.

This disease is indiscriminate. There are many of us now who get herceptin who still get Stage4 disease - we all want a cure, we all want a miracle. I too hate the Pink, the celebration of "moving on" when so many of us a "muddling through"

Jen, if praying helps, Pray. It is stillness that works for me, connecting with my own intuition, my inner strength. I know you will find a way through. Your Mum is so very much in our thoughts here and in mine. Rest may give your Mum the strength that she needs to keep going but if it is a time of transition for her, rest may give her some peace too.
Sending you a load of love.

10-14-2012, 02:59 PM	#3
Mandamoo Senior Member Join Date: Jul 2011 Location: Melbourne, Australia Posts: 432	Re: I'm helplessly Drowning in a Sea of Pink Oh Jen - I am so sorry you are going through this - it truly breaks my heat and I don't know if I can offer any wise words. At times when I think "why me?" I now counter with "why not me?" there is no rhyme nor reason. I'd like to say something about your Mum's strength through - wow, I wish to be so strong, to live with stage 4 disease for as long as she has, I understand how tired she must be, she has been going at this for such a long time. Only last week, I wondered if I could go on but I have three young children, one yet to start school and realised I just have to. To keep believing in miracles, to live now and not wonder about the what ifs. This disease is indiscriminate. There are many of us now who get herceptin who still get Stage4 disease - we all want a cure, we all want a miracle. I too hate the Pink, the celebration of "moving on" when so many of us a "muddling through" Jen, if praying helps, Pray. It is stillness that works for me, connecting with my own intuition, my inner strength. I know you will find a way through. Your Mum is so very much in our thoughts here and in mine. Rest may give your Mum the strength that she needs to keep going but if it is a time of transition for her, rest may give her some peace too. Sending you a load of love. __________________ Amanda xx 40 year old Mum to three gorgeous kids - son 5 and daughters 8 and 11 Wife to my wonderfully supportive husband of 17 years! 22 February 2011 - Diagnosed Early Breast Cancer IDBC Stage2b (ER/PR -ve, Her2+ve +++) - 38 years old (L) skin sparing mastectomy with tissue expander, axilla clearance (2/14 affected) clear margins. Fec3, Taxotere and herceptin2 - stopped due to secondary diagnosis June 24 2011 Stage IV - Skin met, axilla node, multiple lung lesions Bolero3 trial - Navelbine, Hereptin weekly, daily Everolimus/Placebo February 2012 - July 2012 Tykerb and Xeloda - skin mets resolved, Lungs initially dramatically reduced but growing again August 2012 (turn 40!) tykerb and herceptin (denied compassionate use of TDM1) while holidaying in Italy! September 2012 - January 2013 TDM1 as part of the Th3resa trial - lymph nodes resolved, lungs slowly progressing. January 2013 - herceptin, carboplatin and Perjeta (compassionate access) April 2013 - Some progression in lungs and lymph nodes - Abraxane, Herceptin and Perjeta July 2013 - mixed response - dramatic reduction of most lung disease, progression of smaller lung nodules and cervical and hilar nodes - ? Add avastin.