[Pam P]

I just re-read all your messages on my initial brain mets post. I really needed to read all the support & encouragement again and it did help.

Things are not well, but hopefully will show imrprovement soon.

My muscles are so weak I still can't get up out of a chair by myself so I still need a "babysitter" can't be home alone. The only place I can stand up by myself is from the side of my bed. I've lost so much weight - can't get an appetite back ( the decadron was supposed to make me eat but it sure didn't do that) I'm weaning off it now - by end of next week that will be done. In just the last 2 days or so I feel like I have a bit more energy but it's so slight - My last wbr was 3/30 so it's been 2 weeks already. The pneumonia at the end made it all worse, but I'm pretty sure that's gone now. I see the onc. tomorrow. Hopefully he'll think I'm strong enough to restart halaven. I only got that 1st dose of it right before I started rads, the end of April. I'm so nervous about the cancer not having any chemo for so long - it's not controlled at all right now. Then I won't even know for awhile if the halaven will work for me - or if the wbr is working.

I'm mentally & emotionally panicking, physically struggling, basically a mess.
One good thing I have in-home pt this week to help get me started on some strengthening exercises mainly for my legs and arms. Hope I can recover enough be be independent.

Sorry this post is such a downer - it's honestly where i am right now - also very scared - I just needed to check in and talk to my sisters. Love you all. Pam