HER2 Support Group Forums - View Single Post - What has cancer given you? The good and the bad?

fauxgypsy · 03-27-2011, 09:04 AM

I have mixed feelings about this right now. I feel that my life has been enriched by coming to know many people here. In some ways I feel stronger. I also feel that I have lost so much. I have learned to know fear. I know that I will die some day of something. Possibly breast cancer. My fear is that I will die sooner than I have to because of the calculating coldness of insurance companies. I have realized that the world is divided into people who have empathy and those who don't care as long as it doesn't affect them directly. I have become more cynical as I see a brave new world of treatment options that are available only to those who can afford them. When I read on this site of women being denied treatments that could save their lives, it makes me so angry. I have always railed against the unfairness of the world but I have come to see a darker side of it than I had imagined possible. It is not that we don't have the resources (that is debatable), it is a matter of profit and what individuals are worth to their governments and to the world at large. I try to be positive and I know that this is not sweetness and light but this is how I feel now. Many people are trying very hard to do the right thing and I do not mean to disparage that effort at all. But it makes me so very angry that people are treated as numbers. To quote Anne Lamott, this is only one six-billionth about me. On another website that has to do with health insurance coverage I had a member of the armed services tell me that there is always collateral damage, and that the people who did not have insurance (or who were denied treatments by the insurance that they did have) were just collateral damage.

So far I have been one of the lucky ones and I have had to fight for what I needed many times. It is wearisome to have clerks in an office somewhere tell you that they know how you feel but "Sorry, we won't pay for that." Or tell you not to get upset when it is your life that they are denying. Maybe my outlook will get better soon. I just feel so powerless.

03-27-2011, 09:04 AM	#20
fauxgypsy Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Mississippi Posts: 600	Re: What has cancer given you? The good and the bad? I have mixed feelings about this right now. I feel that my life has been enriched by coming to know many people here. In some ways I feel stronger. I also feel that I have lost so much. I have learned to know fear. I know that I will die some day of something. Possibly breast cancer. My fear is that I will die sooner than I have to because of the calculating coldness of insurance companies. I have realized that the world is divided into people who have empathy and those who don't care as long as it doesn't affect them directly. I have become more cynical as I see a brave new world of treatment options that are available only to those who can afford them. When I read on this site of women being denied treatments that could save their lives, it makes me so angry. I have always railed against the unfairness of the world but I have come to see a darker side of it than I had imagined possible. It is not that we don't have the resources (that is debatable), it is a matter of profit and what individuals are worth to their governments and to the world at large. I try to be positive and I know that this is not sweetness and light but this is how I feel now. Many people are trying very hard to do the right thing and I do not mean to disparage that effort at all. But it makes me so very angry that people are treated as numbers. To quote Anne Lamott, this is only one six-billionth about me. On another website that has to do with health insurance coverage I had a member of the armed services tell me that there is always collateral damage, and that the people who did not have insurance (or who were denied treatments by the insurance that they did have) were just collateral damage. So far I have been one of the lucky ones and I have had to fight for what I needed many times. It is wearisome to have clerks in an office somewhere tell you that they know how you feel but "Sorry, we won't pay for that." Or tell you not to get upset when it is your life that they are denying. Maybe my outlook will get better soon. I just feel so powerless. __________________ In the world of destiny, there are no statistics. Jan. 26- mammogram and ultrasound- suspicious lump Mid-February- lumpectomy, infiltrating ductal carcinoma ~4.5 cm and a 1 cm DCIS, did not get clear margins, did not check lymph nodes ER+/PR+, her2 +++, nuclear grade 3 of 3 February 20-PET scan showed something on liver. No biopsy. March- Started carboplatin, herceptin, taxol on a four week cycle May 3- Pet scan, with intent to do a biopsy, found nothing, liver or breast- no biopsy because there is nothing to biopsy June 21- new onc, very concerned that there had been no biopsy, June 18th-CAT scan, bone scan-negative August 7th - Brain MRI-negative August 9th- mastectomy, all pathology negative January 2008 still NED! New oncologist -herceptin for full year after chemo- until July, and tamoxifen---negative scans since May '07 July 2008-Finished Herceptin!