[Lien]

Hi Joanna,

I am so sorry this is happening to you and you must feel desperate, powerless to do something about it. How does she feel about the situation? Is she aware that she is dying? I remember that when my mother had esophagal cancer, she "knew" she was dying. The last days of her life, she needed us to accept that. She said it felt very lonely to be dying why everybody around her was trying to keep her alive.

I'm not saying you should give up, because I don't know enough about you and her. Just saying that sometimes we so desperately want to do something for a loved one, that we forget to ask what they need from us.

Only because my mother was aware of how she felt and because she was able to express her feelings, were we able to share her last few days with her and be at peace with her passing. It was very hard for us to go along with her wishes, because we so desperately wanted to try everything and anything to keep her alive. I am glad we let go in the end. It gave us closure too and she was happy to see that we had accepted what was happening. It gave us a chance to be with her with all our hearts until the last second of her life.

If you worry about the doc thinking that way, could you have a talk with him/her? Would that help you to ease your mind? Does your sister know how you feel?

This is really very, very hard. I hope you all find the strength you need to deal with this.

Jacqueline