First...I know I'm not crazy and what I'm feeling is "normal" I just need to vent...
I'll finish herceptin in August...then what? Life is never the same. Right now I truly hate my job, it seems like such a waste of time. The energy I'm expending being miserable is making me miserable. But the job market???
I've always loved being an administrative assistant, but now I want to do something that has more meaning...or at least somewhere that gives more meaning.
How do I start? How do I hang in there until I find my new mission? Debt and a house looming over me, I wish I could pack up my dogs in the car and drive into the horizon to find new purpose.
I'm pretty sure I'm depressed, but the good thing is that I know I'm depressed. Can't wait for a vacation that has been postponed through all these time of treatements. There is so much in life waiting for me, how can I have it all? When a sucky job is weighing me down...but it DOES pay the bills?
When will I get my energy back? I think this weekend, I realized that in trying to have it all, I'm spending every ounce of energy I have, which is good and bad; in that I run out of steam, when I want to do more.
Does it get better?