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Darlene Denise · 02-16-2010, 10:16 AM

Skip: Been there felt those same feelings. Some of her thoughts are controlled by her recent dx and some by the chemo. When I was on Taxol/Carbo/Herceptin I was a total victim and felt nothing but dispair. My husband was beside himself seeing and experiencing my emotional decline. Remember that chemo can be a big reason she is going through this, it chemically alters the brain. The fear of imminent death is very diabilitating. Once she begins hearing that her treatment is working to reduce the liver lesions she will start to feel empowered against the disease. When that happens, lead her here to see others in her same place to give her more empowerment. It is a one step at a time process. Hearing people tell me to be positive etc upset me more than it helped me. This is something she must come to terms with on her own terms. Her feelings are normal. These feelings will change only when she begins to feel safe again. Don't try to rush it or force it. Remind her often you are there for her and will always be there to love and care for her.

MBC steels everything from us and replaces it with fear and anxiety. These new feelings never go away, we just learn to manage them, just like the disease.

Be patient, be kind; she will be back!

Darlene

02-16-2010, 10:16 AM	#9
Darlene Denise Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: Virginia Beach, Virginia Posts: 145	Re: Long term survivors Skip: Been there felt those same feelings. Some of her thoughts are controlled by her recent dx and some by the chemo. When I was on Taxol/Carbo/Herceptin I was a total victim and felt nothing but dispair. My husband was beside himself seeing and experiencing my emotional decline. Remember that chemo can be a big reason she is going through this, it chemically alters the brain. The fear of imminent death is very diabilitating. Once she begins hearing that her treatment is working to reduce the liver lesions she will start to feel empowered against the disease. When that happens, lead her here to see others in her same place to give her more empowerment. It is a one step at a time process. Hearing people tell me to be positive etc upset me more than it helped me. This is something she must come to terms with on her own terms. Her feelings are normal. These feelings will change only when she begins to feel safe again. Don't try to rush it or force it. Remind her often you are there for her and will always be there to love and care for her. MBC steels everything from us and replaces it with fear and anxiety. These new feelings never go away, we just learn to manage them, just like the disease. Be patient, be kind; she will be back! Darlene __________________ 12/14/07 IDC ER- PR- HER2+++ LIVER METS AT DX CONFIRMED BY LIVER BIOPSY 01/14/08 2 AC TREATMENTS-NOT WORKING 02/04/08 13 TAXOL, CARBO, HERCEPTIN TREATMENT-EXCELLENT RESULTS! 05/12/08 HERCEPTIN EVERY 3 WKS 08/22/08 BRAIN METS! 8 <5MM 09/17/08 CYBERKNIFED BRAIN METS 10/20/08 BRAIN METS SHRINKING 12/29/08 BRAIN SCAN SHOWS 1 LESION GONE, 7 SHRINKING & STABLE, 1MM ? SPOT 01/16/09 LIVER REOCUR-XELODA/HERCEPTIN 03/02/09 BRAIN SCAN 2 LESIONS GONE, 5 STABLE, 1MM ? SPOT STILL A ? 3/27/09 REGRESSION OF 2 LIVER LESIONS XELODA & HERCEPTIN 06/08/09 STUPID BRAIN HAS 3 LESIONS 06/29/09 CYBERKNIFE 07/01/09 LIVER REGRESSION NO NEW METS 07/07/09 TYKERB XELODA HERCEPTIN 11/11/09 GEMZAR/HERCEPTIN FOR LIVER PROGRESSION 03/22/10 BRAIN MRI GOOD-3 SMALL NECROSIS LEFT FROM ORIG 11!! 03/26/10 CHANGE TO NAVELBINE/HERCEPTIN 3 LIVER LESIONS PROGRESSING IN SIZE 05/21/10 NAVELBINE/HERCEPTIN WORKING! 07/19/10 GOOD BRAIN MRI 08/20/10 LIVER PROGRESSION 09/08/10 TDM1 - NASHVILLE TN 01/10/11 LIVER RESPONDING TO TDM1