[Jackie07]

Have the two of you talked about it together? If not, I vote for going to therapy to talk it out. Either by yourself, by himself, or/and together. It may also help to find out if there's a true , potentially lasting relationship between the two of you.

I'm sorry to say this bluntly since I'm probably not supposed to impose my own situation/feelings on others. But hubby of 22 years has just told me (and many times before) that he's got very tired of this chronic illness/cancer situation - especially the last 5 years.

I'm not backing off in my attitute because he has not provided /contributed for over 8 years since he had the (heart) stents procedure done. He felt like he's been sacrificing for me, his now deceased Mother, and his Father who lives in the country all these years. He felt like nobody appreciates what he'd done for us. The truth is, none of the things he's been doing for us can not be done by a hired hand. His father asked him not to work when my Mother-in-law went to the nursing home 7 years ago . My Mother-in-law has been gone a year now, and he still has not even 'tried'to find a job... Yah, of course I know that he's still depressed...

And I suspect that the only reason why he has stayed this long is because I have been the bread winner the past 10 years. Now my unemployment is going to run out (again)... We'll see what happens when all of our stocks and mutual funds are sold and gone...

Just to show you how problems can arise even between a long-married couple.

Having had 4 major medical procedures in the past 20 years, I do not feel like any survivors need to have any guilt about staying alive. After all, it is our God-giving right/human nature/animal instinct to want to live as long as we can. As cancer patients, our survival is to be celebrated, cherished, and encouraged. If the person you are with is giving you any hint of guilt, I say just let go. But if he's simply not ready to move on, it will be up to you to decide whether or not it's worth waiting.