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Lien · 12-13-2009, 10:06 AM

Lori, your post made me think. When I met my husband, he had been divorced for two years. His ex-wife had left him for another man. Still, she wasn't pleased when he met me. So I called her and talked to her about how we were going to raise the kids, as they didn't ask to be in this situation. I know of at least one other stepmom who acted like that. If your husband would look carefully, he could find a woman who isn't threatened by your memory, who will keep your memory alive.

When I first met my husband and we started dating, he said to me: You have to know one thing: my children will always come first and their mother is the best mom in the world. If you can deal with that, I would love to explore what we have together. If not, I think it should end here.
I agreed with him. In fact, I admired him for being so straightforward. We now have 4 sons, 2 from his first marriage, and two we had together. The eldest two are as much part of the fabric of our family as are the other two.

So if husbands would start a new relationship like that, I think it could work out. I just hope mine would do it like that again.

Jacqueline

12-13-2009, 10:06 AM	#17
Lien Senior Member Join Date: May 2006 Location: Haarlem, the Netherlands Posts: 835	Re: OK my opinion...Like it or not Lori, your post made me think. When I met my husband, he had been divorced for two years. His ex-wife had left him for another man. Still, she wasn't pleased when he met me. So I called her and talked to her about how we were going to raise the kids, as they didn't ask to be in this situation. I know of at least one other stepmom who acted like that. If your husband would look carefully, he could find a woman who isn't threatened by your memory, who will keep your memory alive. When I first met my husband and we started dating, he said to me: You have to know one thing: my children will always come first and their mother is the best mom in the world. If you can deal with that, I would love to explore what we have together. If not, I think it should end here. I agreed with him. In fact, I admired him for being so straightforward. We now have 4 sons, 2 from his first marriage, and two we had together. The eldest two are as much part of the fabric of our family as are the other two. So if husbands would start a new relationship like that, I think it could work out. I just hope mine would do it like that again. Jacqueline __________________ Diagnosed age 44, January 2004, 0.7 cm IDC & DCIS. Stage 1, grade 3, ER/PR pos. HER2 pos. clear margins, no nodes. SNB. 35 rads. On Zoladex and Armidex since Dec. 2004. Stopped Zoladex/Arimidex sept 2009 Still taking mistletoe shots (CAM therapy) Doing fine.