[julierene]

I want nothing more... I despise everything about him, and I am even more devastated that he will raise my children after I am gone. I hate that more than anything I could ever say I hate more than hate. I have always prided myself on not hating, and now I am being constantly covered in it no matter how I try to get away. My mind is my worst enemy, and I can't get my filthy evil ex-husband out of my beautiful mind. I feel like he successfully destroyed me and all the good thoughts I had left of the world. I have always been such a positive person, in the face of such tragedy with my family cancer history. In one night, and two seconds of him spewing his sperm between another woman's legs, he might as well have took a knife and ripped out my heart. All for a two second spew of sperm. I have never heard of anything more stupid in my whole entire life to destroy a faith in someone. I try to tell myself it could have been worse, but for some reason, I can't seem to believe it. I think about how he ruined my marriage, tore up our family, and then goes about his life like he's happy now. Purposefully trying to make my life miserable any time he can. I think his abuse goes far above something he should be put in jail for. And when I think about him rotting in jail, it just makes me smile. Some day, a day I will probably never see, I just want him to learn what a miserable person he is, how he doesn't deserve a new wife, and doesn't deserve my precious children that he cheated on.