[Debbie L.]

Marie, you express yourself so well - the truth of what you're saying goes right to our hearts. What you're feeling seems normal, right, and loving to me.

I've heard it said that one of the "good" things about advanced cancer is that it often does get to the point that we know with absolute certainty that the bad moments are overriding the good and that it's time to die. I don't know if it's all that "good" - because the loss is hard, whether it's from being hit by the bus out of the blue or it comes slowly and by the end is welcomed. It's just hard no matter what. But your feelings of wanting an end to the poor quality of life that you both are enduring are perfectly normal and not something to apologize for.

And you've not only expressed your thoughts to others who understand and support you, but you've called in local help (you're doing good!). I don't have any personal experience with hospice but I do know that I've never heard anyone say that they wished they hadn't had their help. They can help in small practical ways and they help carry the burdens and ease the fears.

Please keep us posted, as you and Ed are in everyone's thoughts and heart, especially now during this hard time.

Love,
Debbie Laxague