[Colleens_Husband]

Marie said:

I feel guilty about this, I am just sick about it. What the hell was I thinking?? I should be watching out for things like this. I held him as he was out and kept repeating that I love him and it's okay, I love you, I am right here. I felt so helpless sitting on the floor holding him.

Marie:

Being a caregiver is an extremely difficult thing to live through. You are taxed emotionally, physically, and mentally. Sometimes the emotional aspects of going through hard times will take a toll on your physical and mental abilities. Did you want Ed to be injured? Of course not! Do you have some sort of clairvoyance which could have seen this happen? Of course not!

You said you felt helpless sitting on the floor next to Ed, but that isn't the whole truth. You would be feeling helpless even if Ed wasn't injured. Ed's fall just brought to the front of your mind what you have been increasingly feeling for some time now.

Marie, you did nothing to feel guilty about. Even though you increasingly feel the wearing down of a loss of hope, you are still fighting. You are still praying. You are still caring. You are still doing everything that is humanly possible to help Ed through this difficult journey.

To be honest, I admire you. I love your fighting spirit. I love the care and devotion you have shown to Ed. If I were in your shoes, I would hope that I could be as strong as you. You have been in a tough enough battle, you don't need to make things worse for yourself by piling on feelings of guilt.

Marie, please take excellent care of yourself. Go find something to treat yourself with. You certainly deserve it.

Please know that we are by your side. You and Ed will be in our thoughts, hearts and prayers.

Lee