HER2 Support Group Forums - View Single Post

Believe51 · 06-26-2009, 10:12 PM

Eric, I cry as I write to you tonight and I feel no words I say could bring you comfort. We too have searched for options as our circumstances greatly resemble the place you are at. We too are in a race against time and all I can say is I feel so deeply for Caryn and your family. I do have recent research but Caryn has been too sick to continue with what treatment she was on.

As a spouse of a breast cancer Warrior myself I can only say this. I will never accept that the battle is over; but I must accept the fact that he is slowly slipping away and when his body cannot withstand treatment anymore....when his quality of life becomes more hindered, painful or unsatisfying.....he has one more time to ask himself if he can continue. Even if he can continue, is there something that can help? It is the sadest and toughest things I have ever had to live through. I have been told by Warriors whom I have since lost, that you know when your body is telling you those things. Even when we know, sometimes we chose not to listen. I have promised I would listen to what he needs and what his body is telling him. How can I not, he knows best what his body is saying and how far he can push it.

In my eyes Eric, Caryn will have never lost her battle. The cancer just became bigger than her! She has been so courageous and fought with grace and dignity. Caryn has taught me so much about living and fighting. Her journey has been that of a true Warrior, a battle that has been difficult, but a battle I will never say she lost.

I pray for a miracle for her, I pray for her comfort. I am speechless as the emotions you are feeling are the same I try to make sense out of myself. From where I sit, I am not so sure there are any right answers. I do know that I trust my heart and when my mind cannot answer these questions, I will look deep into my heart for the answers.

I am thinking about your entire family as I still cry and hurt along with you....as I still know none of my words can express how I feel. I hold your hand Eric for it is all I can do. Lots of love.>>Believe51

06-26-2009, 10:12 PM	#40
Believe51 Senior Member Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: RHODE ISLAND (Ed getting me a latte on 2nd Cancerversary Cruise 2008) 'BELIEVE': To accept as true or real, To have faith in, To presume ALWAYS BELIEVE Posts: 2,999	Eric, I cry as I write to you tonight and I feel no words I say could bring you comfort. We too have searched for options as our circumstances greatly resemble the place you are at. We too are in a race against time and all I can say is I feel so deeply for Caryn and your family. I do have recent research but Caryn has been too sick to continue with what treatment she was on. As a spouse of a breast cancer Warrior myself I can only say this. I will never accept that the battle is over; but I must accept the fact that he is slowly slipping away and when his body cannot withstand treatment anymore....when his quality of life becomes more hindered, painful or unsatisfying.....he has one more time to ask himself if he can continue. Even if he can continue, is there something that can help? It is the sadest and toughest things I have ever had to live through. I have been told by Warriors whom I have since lost, that you know when your body is telling you those things. Even when we know, sometimes we chose not to listen. I have promised I would listen to what he needs and what his body is telling him. How can I not, he knows best what his body is saying and how far he can push it. In my eyes Eric, Caryn will have never lost her battle. The cancer just became bigger than her! She has been so courageous and fought with grace and dignity. Caryn has taught me so much about living and fighting. Her journey has been that of a true Warrior, a battle that has been difficult, but a battle I will never say she lost. I pray for a miracle for her, I pray for her comfort. I am speechless as the emotions you are feeling are the same I try to make sense out of myself. From where I sit, I am not so sure there are any right answers. I do know that I trust my heart and when my mind cannot answer these questions, I will look deep into my heart for the answers. I am thinking about your entire family as I still cry and hurt along with you....as I still know none of my words can express how I feel. I hold your hand Eric for it is all I can do. Lots of love.>>Believe51 __________________ 9/7/06Husband 50yrs=StageIV IBC/HER2+,BoneMets10/06TaxotereX10,'H'1X wk,Zometa,Tamoxifen4/12/07Last Tax5/18/07Pet=Rapid Cell Activity,No Organ Mets,Lytic Lesions,Degeneration,Some Bone Repair5/07ChemoFail6/01/07Pleural Thoracentisis=Effusions,NoMalignantCells6/19/07+7/2/07DFCI 6/25/07BrainMRI=BrainMets,Many<9mm7/10/07WBR/PelvisRad37.5Gx15&Nutritionist8/19/07T/X9/20/07BrainMRI=2<2mm10/6/07Pet=BoneProgression 10/24/07ChemoFail11/9/07A/Cx10,EndTam12/7/07Faslodex12/10/07Muga7512/13/07BlasticLesions1/7/08BrainMRI=Clear4/1/08Pet=BoneImprovement, NoProgression,Stable4/7/08BrainPerfect5/16/08Last A/C8/26/08BrainMets=10(<9mm)9/10/08Gamma10/30/08Met=5mm12/19/08Gamma5mets5 12/22/08SpinalMets1/14/09SpinalRads2/17/09BrainMRI=NoNewMets4/20/09BoneScan5/14/09Ixempra6/1/09BrainMRI=NumerousMets6/24/09DFCIw/DrBurstein6/26/09Continue Ixempra/Faslodex/Zometa~TM now lower7/17/09Stop Ixempra By Choice9/21/09HOSPICE10/16/09Earned His Deserved Wings And Halo=37 Month Fight w/Stage 4 IBC, Her2+++,My Hero!!