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Andrea Barnett Budin · 06-23-2009, 12:23 PM

Dearest Carolyn,

I am hearing you louder and clearer I think.

All said is well and good, but...

In '98, when my bc recurred I momentarily lost my way. I asked for help from my onc immediately. He gave me Ativan (anti anxiety) which I still take nightly. It helps me sleep -- which is essential to healing and wellness and being able to move forward the next day.

I also take an anti-depressant (Zolft) which takes the edge off and allows me to be me.

My doc says, we should never suffer. Physically or psychologically. He believes in our learning to take care of ourselves. To recognize symptoms AS they occur, and to take meds right off, before the issue spins out of control and we are stuck in pain.

Forgive me for not adding this essential ingredient in the mix to achieving wellness, joy and serenity from the getgo. Everything we do counters in. Everything we think weighs heavily in the healing process.

I had never before (bc) realized that we need not be victimized by our thoughts. The visions we carry our mind's eye are grossly underrated. It's a cultural thing.

I just read HEALING IS THE ACT OF REMEMBERING OURSELVES BACK INTO WHOLENESS AFTER WE'VE BEEN DISMEMBERED.

Surely, I listen to the thoughts with which I seem to be obsessed with. I listen to the words that come out of my mouth. I make a conscious decision to linger on thoughts and images that bring me back to wholeness. To my True Self. To my Spirit. To my sacredness. Have your read Wayne Dyer's Your Sacred Self?

HEALING LIVES IN THE WORDS AND IMAGES WITH WHICH WE CHOOSE TO LIVE.

With love,

I used to be an anti-pill person. Never needed or wanted to take a pill. Well, chemotherapy and my canser experience altered my way of seeing that there are, thank goodness, many alternatives to integrate in our healing and wellness...

Andi

06-23-2009, 12:23 PM	#11
Andrea Barnett Budin Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: LAND OF YES! w/home in Boca Raton, Florida Orig from L.I., N.Y. Ever hovering IN THE NOW... Posts: 1,904	Big p.s.!!!!!!!!!! Dearest Carolyn, I am hearing you louder and clearer I think. All said is well and good, but... In '98, when my bc recurred I momentarily lost my way. I asked for help from my onc immediately. He gave me Ativan (anti anxiety) which I still take nightly. It helps me sleep -- which is essential to healing and wellness and being able to move forward the next day. I also take an anti-depressant (Zolft) which takes the edge off and allows me to be me. My doc says, we should never suffer. Physically or psychologically. He believes in our learning to take care of ourselves. To recognize symptoms AS they occur, and to take meds right off, before the issue spins out of control and we are stuck in pain. Forgive me for not adding this essential ingredient in the mix to achieving wellness, joy and serenity from the getgo. Everything we do counters in. Everything we think weighs heavily in the healing process. I had never before (bc) realized that we need not be victimized by our thoughts. The visions we carry our mind's eye are grossly underrated. It's a cultural thing. I just read HEALING IS THE ACT OF REMEMBERING OURSELVES BACK INTO WHOLENESS AFTER WE'VE BEEN DISMEMBERED. Surely, I listen to the thoughts with which I seem to be obsessed with. I listen to the words that come out of my mouth. I make a conscious decision to linger on thoughts and images that bring me back to wholeness. To my True Self. To my Spirit. To my sacredness. Have your read Wayne Dyer's Your Sacred Self? HEALING LIVES IN THE WORDS AND IMAGES WITH WHICH WE CHOOSE TO LIVE. With love, I used to be an anti-pill person. Never needed or wanted to take a pill. Well, chemotherapy and my canser experience altered my way of seeing that there are, thank goodness, many alternatives to integrate in our healing and wellness... Andi __________________ Andi BB '95 post-meno dx Invasive LOBULAR w/9cm tumor! YIKES + 2/21 nodes. Clear mammo 10 mnths earlier. Mastec/tram flap reconst/PORT/8 mnths chemo (4Adria/8CMF). Borderline ER/PR. Tamoxifen 2 yrs. Felt BLESSED. I could walk and talk, feed and bathe myself! I KNEW I would survive... '98 -- multiple mets to liver. HER2+ 80%. ER/PR- Raging, highly aggressive tumors spreading fast. New PORT. 9 mnths Taxotere Fought fire w/fire! Pronounced in cautious remission 5/99. Taxotere weekly for 6 wks, 2 wks off -- for 9 mnths. TALK ABOUT GRUELING! (I believe they've altered that protocol since those days -- sure hope so!!) + good old Vit H wkly for 1st 3 yrs, then triple dosage ev 3 wks for 7 yrs more... The "easy" chemo, right?! Not a walk in the park, but not a freight train coming at 'ya either... Added Herceptin Nov '98 (6 wks after FDA fast-tracked it for met bc). Stayed w/Vit H till July '08! Now I AM FREE! Humbly and eternally grateful for this life-saving drug! NED since '99 and planning on keeping it that way. To hell w/poor prognosis and nasty stats! STOPPED VIT H JULY '08...! REMAIN STABLE... Eternally grateful...Yes is a world & in this world of yes live (skillfully curled) all worlds ... (e e cummings) EVERY DAY I BEAT MY PREVIOUS RECORD FOR # OF CONSECUTIVE DAYS I'VE STAYED ALIVE. Smile KNOWING you too can be a miracle. Up to me and God now...