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chrisy · 06-22-2009, 11:02 AM

Hi Carolyn,

Let me be the first (of many, I'm sure) to reassure you that what you are experiencing is COMPLETELY normal, and that you WILL rebound from it. One day you will wake up, go through an entire day and as you're going to sleep, you will realize that you forgot to think about cancer all day! Or maybe you won't even realize it for several days.

Having said that, you should know that it may take some time. When you first face this diagnosis you go full force into fighting it. It's a long road as you are finding out, and it feels like a long slog.

You have been very strong - and while you are actively girding up for the fight, there is a tendency to put the emotions on the back burner. At some time they have to come out (probably after you're all done with treatment and when you least expect it); it's like a post traumatic stress reaction. So when you feel like the facade is cracking, that is EXACTLY what's happening. But it's not a bad thing, you can't keep it bottled up forever.

All of that is normal too.

My advice is to be gentle with yourself, listen to what you're feeling and know that you will move past this. Treatment takes a physical toll (as you well know) and that makes it harder to cope, or at least that was the case for me.

Hang in there sweetie,

Chris

06-22-2009, 11:02 AM	#2
chrisy Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Central Coast, CA Posts: 3,207	Hi Carolyn, Let me be the first (of many, I'm sure) to reassure you that what you are experiencing is COMPLETELY normal, and that you WILL rebound from it. One day you will wake up, go through an entire day and as you're going to sleep, you will realize that you forgot to think about cancer all day! Or maybe you won't even realize it for several days. Having said that, you should know that it may take some time. When you first face this diagnosis you go full force into fighting it. It's a long road as you are finding out, and it feels like a long slog. You have been very strong - and while you are actively girding up for the fight, there is a tendency to put the emotions on the back burner. At some time they have to come out (probably after you're all done with treatment and when you least expect it); it's like a post traumatic stress reaction. So when you feel like the facade is cracking, that is EXACTLY what's happening. But it's not a bad thing, you can't keep it bottled up forever. All of that is normal too. My advice is to be gentle with yourself, listen to what you're feeling and know that you will move past this. Treatment takes a physical toll (as you well know) and that makes it harder to cope, or at least that was the case for me. Hang in there sweetie, Chris __________________ Chris in Scotts Valley June 2002 extensive hi grade DCIS (pre-cancer-stage 0, clean sentinal node) Mastectomy/implant - no chemo, rads. "cured?" 9/2004 Diag: Stage IV extensive liver mets (!) ER/PR- Her2+++ 10/04-3/05 Weekly Taxol/Carboplatin/Herceptin , complete response! 04/05 - 4/07 Herception every 3 wks, Continue NED 04/07 - recurrence to liver - 2 spots, starting tykerb/avastin trial 06/07 8/07 10/07 Scans show stable, continue on Tykerb/Avastin 01/08 Progression in liver 02/08 Begin (TDM1) trial 08/08 NED! It's Working! Continue on TDM1 02/09 Continue NED 02/10 Continue NED. 5/10 9/10 Scans NED 10/10 Scans NED 12/10 Scans not clear....4/11 Scans suggest progression 6/11 progression confirmed in liver 07/11 - 11/11 Herceptin/Xeloda -not working:( 12/11 Begin MM302 Phase I trial - bust:( 03/12 3rd times the charm? AKT trial 5/12 Scan shows reduction! 7/12 More reduction!!!! 8/12 Whoops...progression...trying for Perjeta/Herceptin (plus some more nasty chemo!) 9/12 Start Perjeta/Herceptin, chemo on hold due to infection/wound in leg, added on cycle 2 &3 11/12 Poops! progression in liver, Stop Perjeta/Taxo/Herc 11/12 Navelbine/Herce[ptin - try for a 3 cycles, no go. 2/13 Gemzar/Carbo/Herceptin - no go. 3/13 TACE procedure