Thanks Jackie for your input.
I kind of get your point, maybe... Surely I can relate to the WHY DOES THIS KEEP HAPPENING TO ME syndrome which is a red flag -- to be more introspective and examine what the heck I am doing wrong. It's human to make mistakes but the true crime is not to learn from them, and to keep repeating them.
I think the profound Lesson of grasping our need to CHERISH EACH DAY AND THOSE WE LOVE, AND TO DO IT WITH UNCOMMON PASSION has so many layers. Like falling in love, in time we still love the person but we aren't all atitter about it as we are when it is freshly discovered. I may have made that word up. Could be atwitter, but you catch my drift.
So as life has a way of moving like a roller coaster, when we have a crisis, we RELEARN this invaluable Lesson, as it has even deeper meaning. Over time, we become lax in being awestruck and humbly grateful. Life has a way of reminding us, which is a good system I suppose.
That's my take.
The SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO is emblematic of abusers, I've noted. It's never their fault. If it weren't for you, my sad story, my victimization -- then Life would be good. Blaming rather than taking responsibility, not only for the past but for taking charge of your future is self-defeating!
One of my favorite Gleanings is -- I CAN CONTROL MY THOUGHTS. THEY CONTROL MY EMOTIONS, SO I CAN CONTROL MY EMOTIONS. I MUST CONSCIOUSLY ACCEPT MY POWER OF CHOICE AND REWRITE MY MENTAL CHATTERINGS.
I CAN CALL MY DESIRED DESTINY TO ME WITH MY CHOSEN THOUGHTS, ATTRACTING THE UNIVERSE TO MATCH MY POSITIVE ENERGY AND ASSIST ME. I CAN COMMAND MY BODY. AND I AM EVER GRATEFUL FOR THIS GOD-GIVEN BIRTHRIGHT! WE ARE EACH SO VERY BLESSED, WE HAVE ONLY TO RECOGNIZE AND CLAIM OUR EMPOWERMENT...
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Andi BB
'95 post-meno dx Invasive LOBULAR w/9cm tumor! YIKES + 2/21 nodes. Clear mammo 10 mnths earlier. Mastec/tram flap reconst/PORT/8 mnths chemo (4Adria/8CMF). Borderline ER/PR. Tamoxifen 2 yrs. Felt BLESSED. I could walk and talk, feed and bathe myself! I KNEW I would survive...
'98 -- multiple mets to liver. HER2+ 80%. ER/PR- Raging, highly aggressive tumors spreading fast. New PORT. 9 mnths Taxotere Fought fire w/fire! Pronounced in cautious remission 5/99. Taxotere weekly for 6 wks, 2 wks off -- for 9 mnths. TALK ABOUT GRUELING! (I believe they've altered that protocol since those days -- sure hope so!!)
+ good old Vit H wkly for 1st 3 yrs, then triple dosage ev 3 wks for 7 yrs more... The "easy" chemo, right?! Not a walk in the park, but not a freight train coming at 'ya either...
Added Herceptin Nov '98 (6 wks after FDA fast-tracked it for met bc). Stayed w/Vit H till July '08! Now I AM FREE! Humbly and eternally grateful for this life-saving drug! NED since '99 and planning on keeping it that way. To hell w/poor prognosis and nasty stats! STOPPED VIT H JULY '08...! REMAIN STABLE... Eternally grateful...Yes is a world & in this world of yes live (skillfully curled) all worlds ... (e e cummings) EVERY DAY I BEAT MY PREVIOUS RECORD FOR # OF CONSECUTIVE DAYS I'VE STAYED ALIVE. Smile KNOWING you too can be a miracle. Up to me and God now...
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