[Mary Anne in TX]

Hey, Maureen. Being where you are is the pitts, but I'm betting most of us go there now and then before working ourselves out of that place. I was exactly there during the time frame you describe. And being a single parent increases the burden a bit. It comes with benefits, but adds some concerns. I've learned to talk to my granddaughter (9 yrs old now) about my fears and worries...not heavy duty, but honestly. She came to us during my 2nd year of treatment....so I became a mom again during my battle. But overall, it was a blessing....a reason to fight when I wanted to jump off a tall building!
For someone who is a "if it's available, I want it" kind of person, I was happy to receive every single chemo and herceptin treatment I got. My attitude was to hit it with everything I could while I had the energy to do it (diagnosed just before I turned 61). My radiologist asked me one day if I would just keep coming as long as they asked me to....I said yes. What they didn't know was that I had read a ton about just what they were doing and knew that it was the best I could do with what my insurance company would approve. I'd do some reading about the herceptin and keep getting input. None of these are easy decisions. There are no perfect answers.
I think I have said this before, but I think I'm really lucky that my onc.'s wife had BC (well that was dumb, uh....I mean he had lived through it with her....well, nothing sounds appropriate but) and is doing really well after nearly 15 years.
I think my onc walks on water, but I still question him and check up on what others are doing and what other major clinics and hospitals are recommending. One person can not know everything to do for us. Even the best is human!
Well, best wishes and peaceful moments in your journey. You will get through this phase....you will. ma