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Lien · 12-19-2008, 05:08 PM

I have no info about reconstruction, as I had a lumpectomy, but I think that if a reconstruction would make you feel better about yourself, or if you think it would improve your quality of life, you should seriously consider having it done.

Having said that, I think that any kind of surgery comes with risks. Do you think you can handle complications?

And would your decision be influenced by the way others view your body? I remember how my husband couldn't look at me right after surgery. He slept on the couch for weeks, because the scar scared him a lot. At the time I would have done anything to reassure him. Or my sons. I'm not sure that would have been a good thing. They all adjusted and now none of them even seem to think a lot about my cancer.

Ofcourse I'm NED and almost 5 years out from diagnosis, so that's not the same. But my point is: would it help you to have reconstruction done, or would you be doing it for them? And if it's the latter: how would it make them feel if they sensed that's your reason for having it done.

It seems to me that this is a complex issue. In a situation like this, I sometimes use this trick. I flip a coin. The moment I see the result, I monitor my reaction. Am I relieved? Do I feel sorry? That way I know what my gut reaction is. And I often go with that.

I'm not sure I've been very helpful. I hope you find an answer that makes you feel better.

Hugs

Jacqueline

12-19-2008, 05:08 PM	#2
Lien Senior Member Join Date: May 2006 Location: Haarlem, the Netherlands Posts: 835	I have no info about reconstruction, as I had a lumpectomy, but I think that if a reconstruction would make you feel better about yourself, or if you think it would improve your quality of life, you should seriously consider having it done. Having said that, I think that any kind of surgery comes with risks. Do you think you can handle complications? And would your decision be influenced by the way others view your body? I remember how my husband couldn't look at me right after surgery. He slept on the couch for weeks, because the scar scared him a lot. At the time I would have done anything to reassure him. Or my sons. I'm not sure that would have been a good thing. They all adjusted and now none of them even seem to think a lot about my cancer. Ofcourse I'm NED and almost 5 years out from diagnosis, so that's not the same. But my point is: would it help you to have reconstruction done, or would you be doing it for them? And if it's the latter: how would it make them feel if they sensed that's your reason for having it done. It seems to me that this is a complex issue. In a situation like this, I sometimes use this trick. I flip a coin. The moment I see the result, I monitor my reaction. Am I relieved? Do I feel sorry? That way I know what my gut reaction is. And I often go with that. I'm not sure I've been very helpful. I hope you find an answer that makes you feel better. Hugs Jacqueline __________________ Diagnosed age 44, January 2004, 0.7 cm IDC & DCIS. Stage 1, grade 3, ER/PR pos. HER2 pos. clear margins, no nodes. SNB. 35 rads. On Zoladex and Armidex since Dec. 2004. Stopped Zoladex/Arimidex sept 2009 Still taking mistletoe shots (CAM therapy) Doing fine.