Hi Kathy,
I was so sorry to read your post. A lot of people posted good suggestions, and I am glad you plan to follow up with them with your oncologist. Are you familiar with the clinical trials website,
www.clinicaltrials.gov? If you go the the site and use the "advanced search" feature, you can look for trials for treatment of metastatic breast cancer in Japan. You simply select Japan as the country and put in metastatic breast cancer as the search term. There is a trial of Tykerb (lapatanib) and Xeloda (capecitabine) that seems to be recruiting at several locations in Japan. It does not mention race as a criterion. Perhaps you can try a few different sites (there seem to be several in Tokyo alone) and see whether any of them will let you in. You could also contact Glaxo Smith Kline to investigate this issue. I am not sure whether looking for trials in Hong Kong, Taiwan, or Korea might be an option for you. (If the treatment is just oral or infrequent infusions, this might not be as crazy as it sounds.) Of course, getting a second opinion would be helpful. I wish there were a way for you and your family to come to the US for a time to get treatment here. It certainly seems like you have not exhausted your options yet.
Good luck! Gambatte kudasai!
Jill