[DanaRT]

I had a very upsetting experience on Thursday. I traveled with co-workers to a marketing seminar in Chicago for orthodontic practices. I was completely unprepared as the (motivational) speaker wrapped up his session with how laughter has been known to help and possibly cure cancer. He seemed to dwell a little too long on cancer and how a positive attitude/laughter is the best medicine. I felt my eyes well up and knew I was going to need a good cry so I left. Logically, I knew my co-workers weren’t hearing it the way I was. But I felt their energy as I am sure they were thinking I wonder what Dana thinks of this-or maybe they thought nothing of it and I was being self-conscious. A few co-workers followed me to my hotel room. I couldn’t explain my unhappiness to them – but I knew you (on this forum) all would understand.

My boss happened to be in the elevator when I was heading to my room and he noticed I was emotional. He warmly placed his hand on my shoulder but then he said, “You have to laugh more!” That set me off-- I was just angry. Angry I had cancer, angry I have lost friends to cancer, angry, angry, angry(!) and angry my friends and co-chemo buddies lost their lives but not because they had bad attitudes! I wanted to scream.

I was embarrassed but pulled myself together asked God for strength to make it through the rest of the day as a professional. I washed my face, put on new make-up and went back to the meeting rooms. I knew I couldn’t have been the only one in the room of 100’s who had been touched by cancer but I was the only one with VERY short hair. I returned refreshed but some where uncomfortable yet overly friendly towards me. Later that evening, I apologized to my boss.

I thought of you all on this forum and know I am not alone by having this episode of uncontrolled emotion at the WORST possible time.

Love to all of you.

P.S. When I am working I am always upbeat, energetic and positve about my future. Co-workers have remarked that I have handled my dx and treatment as though I were having a tooth pulled. I think some were surprised that I do have to have a good cry.