HER2 Support Group Forums - View Single Post

Andrea Barnett Budin · 09-03-2008, 02:37 PM

My sweet Sisters and Bros,

Your loving wishes mean the world to me...

My beloved Friend, Pinkie, has given me one of the best presents ever. This thread! And all it has generated. I am truly touched.

Was thinking today, as I was tooling about. I believe, just after I was diagnosed, in July of '95, the day before my mastectomy, I went out into my backyard in Dix Hills, Long Island and walked straight in to my pool. No toe testing, inching my way. I was facing cancer, so engulfing myself in cold water was of any matter. I went for the slope where the deep end began. I was bouncing, treading gently, my face turned up the glorious sun that was setting, up to my chin in water.

I opened my heart as I never had before, awed by Life's beauty.
Suddenly enormous pure unconditional Universal Love touched my face and entered my body. A peace, and a Knowing filled me up. Others would later comment, What am I seeing? I was radiating Love and the Serenity that comes from Knowing I would survive it all.

I was One with What Was. I saw it as a phase I had to endure, but would somehow summon the strength and courage to get my cancer before it got me. I felt lucky. I saw my many blessings. The big little things were aglow. I was humbly grateful. I believed it could have been even worse.

If one person can defeat cancer, so can you. I wish each and every one of you to be touched with this strangely empowering awareness that you can do it.

With loving energy being sent to each of you, with my thanks for your kind words... If not for my cancer, I never would have met you all, and that would be tragic. You enrich me in remarkable ways.

Extra special thanks to my extra special Friend, the Pink One, always and forever. You are sooo on my wave length.
Andi

09-03-2008, 02:37 PM	#16
Andrea Barnett Budin Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: LAND OF YES! w/home in Boca Raton, Florida Orig from L.I., N.Y. Ever hovering IN THE NOW... Posts: 1,904	Love You All... My sweet Sisters and Bros, Your loving wishes mean the world to me... My beloved Friend, Pinkie, has given me one of the best presents ever. This thread! And all it has generated. I am truly touched. Was thinking today, as I was tooling about. I believe, just after I was diagnosed, in July of '95, the day before my mastectomy, I went out into my backyard in Dix Hills, Long Island and walked straight in to my pool. No toe testing, inching my way. I was facing cancer, so engulfing myself in cold water was of any matter. I went for the slope where the deep end began. I was bouncing, treading gently, my face turned up the glorious sun that was setting, up to my chin in water. I opened my heart as I never had before, awed by Life's beauty. Suddenly enormous pure unconditional Universal Love touched my face and entered my body. A peace, and a Knowing filled me up. Others would later comment, What am I seeing? I was radiating Love and the Serenity that comes from Knowing I would survive it all. I was One with What Was. I saw it as a phase I had to endure, but would somehow summon the strength and courage to get my cancer before it got me. I felt lucky. I saw my many blessings. The big little things were aglow. I was humbly grateful. I believed it could have been even worse. If one person can defeat cancer, so can you. I wish each and every one of you to be touched with this strangely empowering awareness that you can do it. With loving energy being sent to each of you, with my thanks for your kind words... If not for my cancer, I never would have met you all, and that would be tragic. You enrich me in remarkable ways. Extra special thanks to my extra special Friend, the Pink One, always and forever. You are sooo on my wave length. Andi __________________ Andi BB '95 post-meno dx Invasive LOBULAR w/9cm tumor! YIKES + 2/21 nodes. Clear mammo 10 mnths earlier. Mastec/tram flap reconst/PORT/8 mnths chemo (4Adria/8CMF). Borderline ER/PR. Tamoxifen 2 yrs. Felt BLESSED. I could walk and talk, feed and bathe myself! I KNEW I would survive... '98 -- multiple mets to liver. HER2+ 80%. ER/PR- Raging, highly aggressive tumors spreading fast. New PORT. 9 mnths Taxotere Fought fire w/fire! Pronounced in cautious remission 5/99. Taxotere weekly for 6 wks, 2 wks off -- for 9 mnths. TALK ABOUT GRUELING! (I believe they've altered that protocol since those days -- sure hope so!!) + good old Vit H wkly for 1st 3 yrs, then triple dosage ev 3 wks for 7 yrs more... The "easy" chemo, right?! Not a walk in the park, but not a freight train coming at 'ya either... Added Herceptin Nov '98 (6 wks after FDA fast-tracked it for met bc). Stayed w/Vit H till July '08! Now I AM FREE! Humbly and eternally grateful for this life-saving drug! NED since '99 and planning on keeping it that way. To hell w/poor prognosis and nasty stats! STOPPED VIT H JULY '08...! REMAIN STABLE... Eternally grateful...Yes is a world & in this world of yes live (skillfully curled) all worlds ... (e e cummings) EVERY DAY I BEAT MY PREVIOUS RECORD FOR # OF CONSECUTIVE DAYS I'VE STAYED ALIVE. Smile KNOWING you too can be a miracle. Up to me and God now...