[Mary Jo]

Hi all.....

Better late than never. I guess I never responded because I wasn't sure if I wondered "why" or not. But, I guess I did.

My mom died of pancreas cancer when she was 47 years old. I was 28 when she died. She suffered so incredibly and oh how I never wanted cancer. I often asked God to never give me cancer. I truly believed it wouldn't happen to me. So, when it did...............I was shocked.

Having every kind of cancer imaginable in our family (mom's side) - breast, colon, rectal, kidney and lung I surely shouldn't have been shocked, but I was. I felt betrayed by my body and let down by God. Those are not nice feelings to have.

I've come to believe that genetics play a huge roll. I was an avid exerciser before cancer, took off 30 pounds approximately 10 years before my cancer diagnosis BUT did eat a lot of sugar. Did that "make" me get cancer? I don't know and I'll never know.

So scientifically, knowing what I know, I TRY to do the right things. I try to eat less sugar, exericse more, keep my weight down, take a few supplements, fish oil etc. (just in case I can control this cancer stuff) but me being me, know that in the whole scheme of things my God, who loves me incredibly is control of it all. Did He give me breast cancer? No, I don't believe that at all. I believe we live in a fallen world and bad things happen - period. God knows - sometimes He allows things to happen to us. Why? Only He knows that. However, I can tell you this.........................breast cancer has been a blessing to me. I've grown closer to my God..............I am happier...........I am at peace!

That's all I know for sure. BUT, that's enough for me.

So, yes, I did wonder "why me?" But, I now feel that I have the answer to that "why" and it's ok.

Hugs and Peace....

Mary Jo