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Andrea Barnett Budin · 03-11-2008, 11:20 AM

I passionately believe that one of the most unhealthy ways to live is obsessing about yesterday. It's over! It cannot be changed. Though I look to learn Lessons not to be repeated -- in the Now -- I reject sorrowful, remorseful thoughts full of regret, blame or guilt. These are useless emotions that only serve to bring me down and defeat me! While I know to treasure the Lessons buried within the obstacles.

I also make it a point not to mistake what I know for all there is! That's big! I have come to learn that we are always exactly where we are supposed to be. That in some deliberate Grand Scheme, we are needed to experience unwanted realities, incomprehensible though that appears. Where I am is a necessary step in becoming who I will be... Wiser. Enriched. Expanded. More than I was yesterday.

For me, my priorities had become out of sync with the true meaning and purpose of my being alive, I think. I see now that my family and those I love were to a certain extent deprived -- because of my disconnection from my Spirit, as of course was I. Bc brought me greater compassion, the genuine desire to understand, a generosity of Spirit in giving my full heart and myself to others, staggering awareness of the beauty that surrounds us and the blessings that I have been given and thus deep gratitude.

My Spirit was given to me by my Source and carries a fragment of the divine energy of that Power, as I see it. Once I merged w/this previously unrecognized radiant and magnificent part of myself, in fact my True Self, I became elevated. We are spiritual beings on a human journey! (How awesome is that!) I began to see the world through the eyes of my Soul. And everything changed! I stopped lingering in yesterday. I stopped fretting about tomorrow. I became firmly planted in The Now. And that's where happiness is!

I live open to miracles. I believe in them. And in my ability to prayerfully call them to me with the power and passion of my most intensely embraced thoughts. EVERY THOUGHT IS A PRAYER. EVERY PRAYER IS A POTENTIAL MIRACLE... That's what I wonder about, Ceesun. Sending loving, healing, happy, serene energy your way...
Andi

03-11-2008, 11:20 AM	#10
Andrea Barnett Budin Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: LAND OF YES! w/home in Boca Raton, Florida Orig from L.I., N.Y. Ever hovering IN THE NOW... Posts: 1,904	I passionately believe that one of the most unhealthy ways to live is obsessing about yesterday. It's over! It cannot be changed. Though I look to learn Lessons not to be repeated -- in the Now -- I reject sorrowful, remorseful thoughts full of regret, blame or guilt. These are useless emotions that only serve to bring me down and defeat me! While I know to treasure the Lessons buried within the obstacles. I also make it a point not to mistake what I know for all there is! That's big! I have come to learn that we are always exactly where we are supposed to be. That in some deliberate Grand Scheme, we are needed to experience unwanted realities, incomprehensible though that appears. Where I am is a necessary step in becoming who I will be... Wiser. Enriched. Expanded. More than I was yesterday. For me, my priorities had become out of sync with the true meaning and purpose of my being alive, I think. I see now that my family and those I love were to a certain extent deprived -- because of my disconnection from my Spirit, as of course was I. Bc brought me greater compassion, the genuine desire to understand, a generosity of Spirit in giving my full heart and myself to others, staggering awareness of the beauty that surrounds us and the blessings that I have been given and thus deep gratitude. My Spirit was given to me by my Source and carries a fragment of the divine energy of that Power, as I see it. Once I merged w/this previously unrecognized radiant and magnificent part of myself, in fact my True Self, I became elevated. We are spiritual beings on a human journey! (How awesome is that!) I began to see the world through the eyes of my Soul. And everything changed! I stopped lingering in yesterday. I stopped fretting about tomorrow. I became firmly planted in The Now. And that's where happiness is! I live open to miracles. I believe in them. And in my ability to prayerfully call them to me with the power and passion of my most intensely embraced thoughts. EVERY THOUGHT IS A PRAYER. EVERY PRAYER IS A POTENTIAL MIRACLE... That's what I wonder about, Ceesun. Sending loving, healing, happy, serene energy your way... Andi __________________ Andi BB '95 post-meno dx Invasive LOBULAR w/9cm tumor! YIKES + 2/21 nodes. Clear mammo 10 mnths earlier. Mastec/tram flap reconst/PORT/8 mnths chemo (4Adria/8CMF). Borderline ER/PR. Tamoxifen 2 yrs. Felt BLESSED. I could walk and talk, feed and bathe myself! I KNEW I would survive... '98 -- multiple mets to liver. HER2+ 80%. ER/PR- Raging, highly aggressive tumors spreading fast. New PORT. 9 mnths Taxotere Fought fire w/fire! Pronounced in cautious remission 5/99. Taxotere weekly for 6 wks, 2 wks off -- for 9 mnths. TALK ABOUT GRUELING! (I believe they've altered that protocol since those days -- sure hope so!!) + good old Vit H wkly for 1st 3 yrs, then triple dosage ev 3 wks for 7 yrs more... The "easy" chemo, right?! Not a walk in the park, but not a freight train coming at 'ya either... Added Herceptin Nov '98 (6 wks after FDA fast-tracked it for met bc). Stayed w/Vit H till July '08! Now I AM FREE! Humbly and eternally grateful for this life-saving drug! NED since '99 and planning on keeping it that way. To hell w/poor prognosis and nasty stats! STOPPED VIT H JULY '08...! REMAIN STABLE... Eternally grateful...Yes is a world & in this world of yes live (skillfully curled) all worlds ... (e e cummings) EVERY DAY I BEAT MY PREVIOUS RECORD FOR # OF CONSECUTIVE DAYS I'VE STAYED ALIVE. Smile KNOWING you too can be a miracle. Up to me and God now...