[Sherryg683]

I need to vent here as I am pretty broken hearted about it all. You all know that my brother is dying from melanoma,the last stages here. My78 year old mother lives with him, in his house, he's always been a bachelor. My mother prides herself in being strong and not taking crap off anyone. She's always been very opinionated and confrontational and still very much has her senses with her. Well since my diagnosis and my brothers a month before me, my mom has seemed to be totally off her rocker. She has said such awful things to my brother thing like "you're going to be in such pain when you die,you're gonna be trembling in your bed", "I never knew you looked like such a devil until you lost your hair". "I dont think God going to let you into heaven the way you talk to your old mom".. She actually threw a cup of coke in his face and dared him to hit her so that she could have a cancer patient arrested. It goes on an on. They get in terrible fights with her saying awful mean things. She seems to dwell on the fact that he has not left everything in his will to her,although he's been very generous to her. For 2 years I have listed to her badmouth him to me and everyone who would listen. I have tried to tell her nicely to stop it, that John is dying and she's going to feel awful. All she can think of is what he has said to her and the things that he didn't do for his old mother (that's her words). She has compared our dying with the fact that she's 78 and could die anyday now, we have tried to tell her she has lived a long life but she doesn't get it, she's just an angry woman. . My brother had a prescription that needed to be picked up that was right around the corner from where they live but she made me drive across town to get it. When I asked her why she did't pick it up, her reply was "no..ain't gonna". The next day she came to my house for me to take her to lunch (unannounced) and I just had it. I calmly asked her why could she not get the prescription herself when she was right there, did she really hate my brother so much that she wouldn't pick up his medicine. Well she went into a fit, rushed at me and poked me in the chest with her finger and started to call me some names. I have a really bad temper when pushed, so I poked her back and told her to get the hell out my house. She didn't...so for 2 hours I pretty much told her how embarassed she should be about the way she's been acting that I was ashamed to see her behave the way she has, and everything else that had been built up for 2 years...it was very ugly both ways. I have never spoken to my mother like this, I have always just tried to ignore her when she gets started but I felt like someone had to tell her in no terms did we thing the way she was acting was right. She never sees that she has a problem and will not apologize. When she tells others what happens, it's in a light to make herself look good., although the family knows how she is. I called her 2 days later and aplogized for it going too far, that I loved her and that we didn't need any additional stress in the family at this time....I did not aplogize for what I said because I meant it. I have not heard from her for almost 2 weeks and she has told my sister that she will not be speaking with me anymore, that me and my brother were the most selfish people in the family. Guess she's forgotten the vacations I took her own, fixing her car, giving her cash for no reason, the lunches, lunches lunches...I may be many things but selfish is not one. I am just worried that some thing may happen to either me or my mom before we can repair this. I don't want to go to hell for disrespecting my mother, this is a huge fear for me. I can't believe she could just be so cruel and viscious to the two kids that never gave her any trouble and that are sick. I don't understand itl I don't know what to do next but I feel if I pursue her further then she will just figure she's won, that everyone else was wrong and she's right. The way it's going the next place we may see each other is at my brothers funeral and if she starts with me, it could get ugly there. Me and my mom were so close till this but like I said, I never really talked to her like that before. My poor brother was just sitting there feeling like he's dying and no one really gave a damn, even his mother was being cruel. I just had to speak up for him...sherryg683