[madubois63]

Funny story (at least to me and my warped mind)...I am in the transplant ward (isolation) here close to home getting my first round of "induction" chemo for the leukemia. This kills off your immune system completely - getting the body ready for the transplant. I am sound asleep in the middle of the night as the voice of God speaks to me, "Do you have Acute Myeloid Leukemia?" With my eyes still closed and my mind all foggy, I speak out, "Yes???" The deep voice then asks me if I worked in the printing industry. Again, I say, "Yes." By now, I realize this can't be God. He already knows where I worked in my life. The voice continues on about benzene causing AML and that benzene was in a lot of the chemicals I used over my 20 year career in the printing industry. You should realize by now that I fell asleep with the tv on and this was a commercial for some attorney that likes to sue large companies for large settlements. I didn't sue anyone, but it did get me thinking...I was originally told the leukemia was caused by chemo, but then I find out that it could have been caused by my job. So was the original breast cancer caused by my job or the fact that I live on what use to be farm land (potatoes supposedly emit some sort of nitrate in the soil that MAY cause cancer...blah, blah, blah)....If you go to the "cancer map," my home is smack dab in the middle of the most cancer ridden place in America. So is this whole mess due to my place of birth, my job...I know it wasn't hereditary for me. I could go on. Was the leukemia going to happen to me anyway without the breast cancer?? Who knows...I drove myself crazy for a while, but have decided it is not worth it. I will never have an absolute answer. I think it's better to spend my time doing more constructive things. You can't change what has already happened..............