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Havah, I noticed that you posted at 5:50 am. I have found that it is, literally, "always darkest before the dawn". I have had most of my most dire thoughts in those early waking hours.
When I was first diagnosed I thought "well at least now I know what I am going to die from. Other people just don't know their destiny". But now I realize I don't even know THAT! I can get hit by a car tomorrow.
You have been given some really helpful suggestions here. Both practical and emotional. I hope that you no longer feel quite so alone and that you find comfort and support from some of the sources suggested.
Like Suzan, I am a recovering alcoholic and have found that our efforts to live "one day at a time" has been a real gift in this journey.
I know it is hard, but keep the faith.
Bonnie
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Bonnie
Post menopause
May 2007 Core biopsy, Rt breast
ER+, Pr-, HER2 +++, Grade 3
Ki-67: 90%
"suspicious area" left breast
Bilateral mastectomy, (NED on left) May 2007
Sentinel Node Neg
Stage 1, DCIS with microinvasion, 3 mm, mostly removed during the biopsy....
Femara (discontinued 7/07) Resumed 10/07
OncoType score 36 (July 07)
Began THC 7/26/07 (d/c taxol and carboplatin 10/07)
Began Herceptin alone 10/07
Finished Herceptin July /08
D/C Femara 4/10 (joint pain/trigger thumb!)
5/10 mistakenly dx with lung cancer. Middle rt lobe removed!
Aromasin started 5/10
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