Dede - I truly know what your going through as do so many other people here.I've had a little bit of a tough time trying to get over this latest relapse (My third fight with bc - and don't forget I got leukemia from too much chemo and my liver rejected my bone marrow transplant dropping me on the threshold of deaths door this past summer)). It sucks. You won't get an argument from me on this one, but I have no other choice at this time but to keep fighting. I am not brave, courageous, blah, blah, blah...I am greedy. I want more time, and I do not want a world without me in it!!! I know I can continue to do this for as long as it takes. It is my objective to stay one (or several) steps in front of cancer until that cure comes along!!!! Please keep posting your feelings and don't keep them inside. I have embraced the fact that I am depressed right now. I tell everyone that asks. People take me out shopping, to movies and out to eat to try and cheer me up. Hmmm, not such a bad deal...I think I may be depressed until I have a nice new wardrobe...
I hope you find your happy place, hang in there. It's worth it!!!!