[IRENE FROM TAMPA]

I know where you are coming from Chelee- that is why I rely on this board so entirely.

Although my family and my friends are "there" for me, I still feel sometimes people are tired of hearing me complain (which I really do not do often) but still there are times. I have to say that I have been "around" for a good 12 years now- (will be celebrating my 12th year now in a few weeks) which is a very wonderful thing don't get me wrong. But after so many years I think people just get used to it if I can say it that way without sounding sour. To me it's a constant thought in every thing that I do but really what can anyone say.They are supportive but I guess there are times when I have a pity party for myself and think someone should come up to me a say WOW lets have a great big "survivor" party for you. YOU DESERVE IT. I also get those comments once in awhile about well we are all going to die at some point. DUH - but our fate is staring us right in the eye daily.

I dont usually rant on like this Chelee but your post got me to thinking about how I feel sometimes and thought I would use this opportunity to vent a bit of my honest feelings too.

Basically I feel that everyone means well, they just don't know what to say. We are all loved and everyone is thinking about us but there is nothing they can do to save us and I know this must bother them - just be there for us when we need them. They are very scared also. I find myself being the comforter many times instead of the comforted.

So just remember Chelee - we all love you and CARE and so do those around you. I think it's might just be more difficult for them to show.

You take care and enjoy your CANCERVERSARY.