HER2 Support Group Forums - View Single Post

fauxgypsy · 09-26-2007, 12:42 PM

Okay, I read more and I have an opinion not a surpise, huh?) about the rah rah thing. I do believe that it helps to be positive. But it also helps me to be able to express my feelings which are not always positive. For me the idea of positive is to make plans for next year, for adding on to the house, for going back to work and being able to run my business and spend time with my family, for my husband and his wonderful support. For having a life during and after cancer treatment, not dwelling on what may happen and living in the now. But there are some days when I want to strangle the person who pops up and tells me to look on the bright side (and I do have much to be thankful for) when they don't have a clue as to what I am feeling or what a sense of loss I have. Or how much it would hurt to strangle them. Right now I am not so much grieving over the breast I lost, as over what right now seems to be lost opportunities; will I ever be able to do the pottery I was planning on, will I be able to help build the room using the nail gun like I did before?. On my good days I remind myself of everything I still have, on the bad ones I sit in my office and cry and have my tantrums because life is not fair, always knowing that it will pass and I will remember how lucky I am in my treatment and all that I am still able to do and all the people I haven't lost. To me being positive is being able to acknowledge all the bad stuff and then move on. Not to let it paralyze me. I am so happy and blessed by the people here who are positive but I know that they have come through this fire and that they make make a conscious choice daily to put the best face on things that they can. Go Andi Go! Believe51, keep believing. I don't mind cheering for you.

Leslie

09-26-2007, 12:42 PM	#34
fauxgypsy Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Mississippi Posts: 600	Okay, I read more and I have an opinion not a surpise, huh?) about the rah rah thing. I do believe that it helps to be positive. But it also helps me to be able to express my feelings which are not always positive. For me the idea of positive is to make plans for next year, for adding on to the house, for going back to work and being able to run my business and spend time with my family, for my husband and his wonderful support. For having a life during and after cancer treatment, not dwelling on what may happen and living in the now. But there are some days when I want to strangle the person who pops up and tells me to look on the bright side (and I do have much to be thankful for) when they don't have a clue as to what I am feeling or what a sense of loss I have. Or how much it would hurt to strangle them. Right now I am not so much grieving over the breast I lost, as over what right now seems to be lost opportunities; will I ever be able to do the pottery I was planning on, will I be able to help build the room using the nail gun like I did before?. On my good days I remind myself of everything I still have, on the bad ones I sit in my office and cry and have my tantrums because life is not fair, always knowing that it will pass and I will remember how lucky I am in my treatment and all that I am still able to do and all the people I haven't lost. To me being positive is being able to acknowledge all the bad stuff and then move on. Not to let it paralyze me. I am so happy and blessed by the people here who are positive but I know that they have come through this fire and that they make make a conscious choice daily to put the best face on things that they can. Go Andi Go! Believe51, keep believing. I don't mind cheering for you. Leslie __________________ In the world of destiny, there are no statistics. Jan. 26- mammogram and ultrasound- suspicious lump Mid-February- lumpectomy, infiltrating ductal carcinoma ~4.5 cm and a 1 cm DCIS, did not get clear margins, did not check lymph nodes ER+/PR+, her2 +++, nuclear grade 3 of 3 February 20-PET scan showed something on liver. No biopsy. March- Started carboplatin, herceptin, taxol on a four week cycle May 3- Pet scan, with intent to do a biopsy, found nothing, liver or breast- no biopsy because there is nothing to biopsy June 21- new onc, very concerned that there had been no biopsy, June 18th-CAT scan, bone scan-negative August 7th - Brain MRI-negative August 9th- mastectomy, all pathology negative January 2008 still NED! New oncologist -herceptin for full year after chemo- until July, and tamoxifen---negative scans since May '07 July 2008-Finished Herceptin!