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StephN · 08-11-2007, 12:51 PM

Just when I was trying to get over the idea that it was ridiculous to buy new clothes or shoes except what I needed to get by with, plan a trip, etc., the bad news came.
My mets came so fast after my initial treatment that I hardly had time to get started again, if you know what I mean. I felt like I was sucker-punched. Once I got through the next ordeal, I did decide to move on a bit. Then the brain mets. Not as hard of a punch as the liver mets, but still a punch. Then the problems with my head afterwards last year. Those 2 surgeries really sapped me and I am still trying to get over the side effects of those and the new port placement.

However, I told myself a long time ago that I HAD to accomplish something EACH DAY, no matter how hard it was to drag my fanny around. This meant that for at least a few minutes a day I had to ignore those nagging feelings and doubts. Then I began to take on small projects and that was a lift in itself.

Fighting this beast means finding a way to "tame the dragon" and get out in the sun a bit. I will never be the same person as before cancer (BC) and I have only a few friends who understand at all how hard a fight it has been. Not only with the cancer, but with the psychology that comes with it.

Kelly - try to take the new position. It may be a way of helping you over this "hump." It may be a blessing in disguise.

08-11-2007, 12:51 PM	#14
StephN Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Misty woods of WA State Posts: 4,128	It does get better Just when I was trying to get over the idea that it was ridiculous to buy new clothes or shoes except what I needed to get by with, plan a trip, etc., the bad news came. My mets came so fast after my initial treatment that I hardly had time to get started again, if you know what I mean. I felt like I was sucker-punched. Once I got through the next ordeal, I did decide to move on a bit. Then the brain mets. Not as hard of a punch as the liver mets, but still a punch. Then the problems with my head afterwards last year. Those 2 surgeries really sapped me and I am still trying to get over the side effects of those and the new port placement. However, I told myself a long time ago that I HAD to accomplish something EACH DAY, no matter how hard it was to drag my fanny around. This meant that for at least a few minutes a day I had to ignore those nagging feelings and doubts. Then I began to take on small projects and that was a lift in itself. Fighting this beast means finding a way to "tame the dragon" and get out in the sun a bit. I will never be the same person as before cancer (BC) and I have only a few friends who understand at all how hard a fight it has been. Not only with the cancer, but with the psychology that comes with it. Kelly - try to take the new position. It may be a way of helping you over this "hump." It may be a blessing in disguise. __________________ "When I hear music, I fear no danger. I am invulnerable. I see no foe. I am related to the earliest times, and to the latest." H.D. Thoreau Live in the moment. MY STORY SO FAR ~~~~ Found suspicious lump 9/2000 Lumpectomy, then node dissection and port placement Stage IIB, 8 pos nodes of 18, Grade 3, ER & PR - Adriamycin 12 weekly, taxotere 4 rounds 36 rads - very little burning 3 mos after rads liver full of tumors, Stage IV Jan 2002, one spot on sternum Weekly Taxol, Navelbine, Herceptin for 27 rounds to NED! 2003 & 2004 no active disease - 3 weekly Herceptin + Zometa Jan 2005 two mets to brain - Gamma Knife on Jan 18 All clear until treated cerebellum spot showing activity on Jan 2006 brain MRI & brain PET Brain surgery on Feb 9, 2006 - no cancer, 100% radiation necrosis - tumor was still dying Continue as NED while on Herceptin & quarterly Zometa Fall-2006 - off Zometa - watching one small brain spot (scar?) 2007 - spot/scar in brain stable - finished anticoagulation therapy for clot along my port-a-catheter - 3 angioplasties to unblock vena cava 2008 - Brain and body still NED! Port removed and scans in Dec. Dec 2008 - stop Herceptin - Vaccine Trial at U of W begun in Oct. of 2011 STILL NED everywhere in Feb 2014 - on wing & prayer 7/14 - Started twice yearly Zometa for my bones Jan. 2015 checkup still shows NED 2015 Neuropathy in feet - otherwise all OK - still NED. Same news for 2016 and all of 2017. Nov of 2017 - had small skin cancer removed from my face. Will have Zometa end of Jan. 2018.